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	This Week				All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Comments	3		1	#4	291	595	#17
Captions	10				8040	21315	#11
Photos
Forum Posts					12
Suggested Edits	2

	This Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Comments			683	#13
Captions			9833	#26
Photos			1137	#19
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits			3	#13

captions comments received captioned photos

captions


lol x2 26/10/23 11:26:57, edited: 15/03/24 18:25:47		24 29
Many thanks, Captioneers, for your votes and kind and funny words. I'm chuffed to bits that many of you liked the caption, and hats off to those who narrowly missed out. Big shout out as always to Mr Beach for providing the platform for us to be crea --The Wolf

lol clever 18/06/19 19:00:13		21 29
Wow! I can't believe I've won, such a nice surprise! Thank you very much for the votes and kind words. Also thanks to Chris for picking the caption but most importantly for giving us the site! It's a privilege to be on the board and a pleasure ... --The Wolf
	Nana and Grandad. 11/12/23 8:02:05	28


lol x2 creative 11/03/20 8:00:13		23 28
Thank you very much for your votes and kind words. There were some great captions this month so feel very fortunate to win the top prize. I've always found Caption.me a great and fun distraction from the otherwise stressful day to day of life. Th... --The Wolf
	lol x3 8am - "Dad, I'm going out on a date tonight at 7pm with a guy who is ten years older than me, is in a band, is on the dole and is covered in tattoos including one on his stomach pointing to his genitals saying (get it 'ere)." 7pm..... 04/03/24 12:37:26	2 27
Why didn't my daughter ever bring hot blokes like that home? --Karen McDonald
	lol x2 "I bought mine from 'Cheapknockoffcoats.com', you?" "It was a birthday present." 23/11/23 8:17:42	8 24
If it applies, I'd say this. I was in a similar position to Al and Karen where I didn't have enough super votes to vote up a caption. Karyn was kind enough to give me 20 super votes which I then returned to her but used a supe --Glyn Evans
	lol clever Beetledeuce. 17/11/23 9:04:41	24

	"Guys, I have a busy morning. Are you interested in buying the house or not?" 13/11/23 20:09:22	24

	lol Antarctic expedition diary. Day 1. Me and my fellow explorers were getting tired. The freezing conditions and sharp winds were starting to affect our strength and patience. After a 50 mile hike through the difficult terrain, we stopped to eat some energy gels from our survival packs. What happened next we could have never predicted. Derbyshire Police turned up and fined us Â£200 for having a f*cking picnic. 14/01/21 12:10:07	24


lol creative clever 10/11/20 8:00:16		21 24
Many thanks to you all for your votes and kind words. Additional thanks to Chris for providing and maintaining the site and for choosing me for this month's winner. This was one of those captions which I nearly didn't post because I thought it w... --The Wolf
	Dear Santa. For Christmas this year I'd love some thermal underpants. 05/10/20 19:27:23	24

	lol "Mum, there's still no sign of Santa." 16/09/23 19:03:37	23

	lol "Tony, why is there a shit in the sink?" 11/09/23 11:03:27	23

	lol x2 Interflora has really gone downhill. 04/09/23 7:16:28	23

	lol "THIS IS THE POLICE. PULL OVER, GET OUT OF THE VAN AND SPREAD 'EM." 02/04/23 19:37:25, edited: 02/04/23 19:48:48	1 23
He should start doing donuts as a distraction --KimJong Pun
	lol "Dad said I couldn't make a rocket out of the fairy liquid bottle until it was empty." 22/11/23 8:03:07	22

	"I need to lose weight. My diet has been rubbish lately." 10/11/23 8:09:22	22

	lol x2 "Emma, of course there are no hard feelings about you getting the promotion. Let's just enjoy the Christmas party. Come here..." 02/11/23 20:05:15	22

	lol Scuba diving lessons for men - SOLD OUT 01/11/23 8:03:00, edited: 01/11/23 8:31:30	22

	It was such a shame when Quaker Oats went bust. 26/10/23 19:12:53	1 22

	lol "Cheers mate. It's difficult to scratch your bollocks with these gloves on." 13/10/23 19:13:59	22

	lol Half an hour he's been on those tits now. My Dad's got one hell of an appetite. 22/09/23 11:00:24	22

	"How many do you smoke a day?" "30 love." 10/09/23 11:03:55	22

	"We're a bit overdressed for dogging." 30/01/23 8:12:45	22

	creative clever "Wow! The people in the upstairs flat have got a powerful hoover." 03/12/22 8:00:07	3 22
Doing the Hoover hover. --Willie Johnson
	lol F-cking typical. NOW she's in the mood. 01/02/22 8:35:06	22

	clever x2 You know you're desperate for a shag when you're willing to rip the roof off your house to make a sign. 04/05/21 19:14:26	22

	lol "JANET, JUST LEAVE IT, WE'LL BUY ANOTHER LILO" 23/11/20 20:01:37	22

	lol "I can't believe you're doing this to me. This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life" "Sorry babe but you know Thursday is mud wrestling day for me and Dave. I'll be back in time for the first dance" 23/07/20 11:24:05	22

	lol x2 Lucy went to extreme lengths to protect herself from the Coronavirus. Unfortunately, she'd forgotten that opening an umbrella indoors was unlucky and she was run over by a bus on the way home. 28/03/20 20:10:40	22

	clever "I'm sorry for yawning but I find your company really boring" 12/06/19 11:25:47	22

	clever Filming has begun for the highly anticipated new period drama 05/06/19 7:10:30	22

	lol creative x3 Dave and Lucy were inconsolable after witnessing their Corgi being drowned by a random Alsatian. 04/03/23 9:39:08	21


lol 02/12/21 12:00:09		17 21
Wow, what a nice surprise. Thanks for all of your kind words and for all the fun and silliness. And thanks to Chris for providing our creative caption world and for choosing me as the winner. Happy new year to everyone. Let's have a good one. --The Wolf
	lol "...and then Barbie said, 'Ken, I'm sick of you, go f*ck yourself'. So I nipped down to Toys R Us, picked you up and here we are" 27/06/21 19:29:49	1 21

	lol "So, I'm just chilling in the garden, minding my own business and having a bit of a snooze, and then it happened. F*cking lawnmower. I know he's bored but the quicker that bastard goes back to work the better" 03/04/20 11:00:39	21

	creative x2 Being a first responder to a car accident on the Simpsons was a sobering experience"¦ 02/04/20 11:00:09	1 21
Looks like he's covered in Marge. --Karyn Harrison
	clever Pepper pig 01/12/19 20:00:06	21

	clever Beef Wellingtons 16/09/19 19:00:05	21

	clever Shopping Maul 08/08/19 19:44:45	21

	clever Goblet 24/04/19 11:51:55	21

	You should always check the small print before booking a cheap all inclusive holiday. 21/10/23 11:03:17	20

	"I don't have time for this shit." 12/10/23 11:26:04	20

	Land Phil. 10/10/23 7:03:26	20

	Diary entry. 23.03.23 It's my second day of being a vegetarian. The hallucinations are getting worse and anywhere I know there's meat, I imagine it being a huge delicious burger and I want to eat it. Today was also my Nan's funeral which was horrible when the hearse arrived. 23/03/23 20:00:40	3 20
Given all the formaldehyde I'm actually picturing Nan as the pickle. --James Lennox
	lol creative “This is a visitor announcement. Due to a tragic incident earlier today at the zoo, we are no longer able to sell frisbees in the gift shop.” 08/12/22 20:00:11	20

	clever It's always good to keep your distance from a potential carrier. 28/11/21 20:00:14	3 20
Well done The Wolf - great caption --Mr Dome
	lol "And this is your loft access" Terry wasn't your stereotypical estate agent. 22/04/21 19:00:14	1 20

	"The finish line please driver. I just can't be arsed today." 19/04/21 11:06:37	1 20
Can't be horsed today. --Willie Johnson
	lol I met her on match.com 18/05/19 11:00:06	3 20
She lit up my life. --James Lennox
	"What's on the agenda for today, Wendy?" "You have a spelling test at 9am. Then at 11 it's times tables, followed by a working lunch with Dairylea dunkers and apple segments. At 2pm it's PE and then assembly before your Mum picks you up." "Cancel the 2pm, Wendy. I f*cking hate PE." "Ok, that's enough, Timothy. And it's not Wendy, It's Mrs Sanderson to you." 08/12/23 12:34:17, edited: 08/12/23 12:37:51	19

	lol "...and my Wife STILL wanted the f*cking heating on" 30/11/23 12:12:30	2 19

	lol "..and then I had a shit in the woods." "That's gross, Deborah. Just focus on fishing." 23/11/23 12:05:30	19

	easyJet will NOT tolerate rudeness to cabin crew. 17/09/23 19:02:07	19

	A peck on the cheek. 09/03/23 20:03:56	19

	lol "Terry's Mum is a silly billy. Pass it on." 13/02/23 12:01:31	19

	It's scary when you see the inside of a Ryanair cockpit. 17/12/22 20:00:14	19

	"Is it me or is it chilli in here?" 16/11/22 12:17:59	19

	lol Pros and cons of having a Llama officiate at your wedding. Pros. Doesn't go on about religion. Doesn't dress in silly outfit. You can start snogging straight away instead of waiting for instructions. Cons. The marriage is not legally binding. The Llama smells. 17/11/21 12:29:53	3 19
I must protest at this slur on my character and personal hygiene --John Llamas
	"I wish that broccoli would hurry up in the bog" 25/06/21 11:07:09	19

	lol x2 clever Staff at NASA are in shock after receiving the latest images from the Mars Rover. 24/06/21 7:07:19	19

	creative "Have you got any change for the fruit machine?" 04/02/21 20:06:02	3 19
Great caption: You dropped us into a story. Please continue: I want to know more about this poor fellow... --Greg Curtis
	creative Bucket and Spayed 28/06/19 19:13:37	19

	lol "Errrr, Dad. Our Zoom call is still connected..." 02/04/24 12:52:22	18

	lol Amazon - Delivery instructions. In the event that I'm not in, please leave my parcel in my safe place (around the back, 9th floor, behind the pipe)... "I f*cking hate this job." 08/01/24 12:26:18	18

	"If I'd known the dogs would miss Dave this much I would've had him cremated." 27/11/23 20:26:37	18

	"I'd like to thank everyone in the audience for coming." 14/11/23 20:31:50	1 18
Not even going to try to beat that hahah --Dale McPhail
	"Come on, fellow Seagulls, let's go raid the bins. There's no chance of a spare chip with this bastard." 19/10/23 11:05:32	18

	lol creative After Yellow Submarine, George Martin's preference for singers when recording were 1: John Lennon 2: George Harrison 3: Paul McCartney 4: Debbie who makes the tea 5: Ringo Starr 16/10/23 7:20:42	18

	"I don't know about you, Ling, but I've got a monumental headache." 11/10/23 19:17:02	1 18
Their temples are throbbing. --Dave Bryan
	"Your turn to change the litter tray." 01/09/23 7:05:27	18

	"Mum, the social worker is here..." 06/06/23 11:01:52	18

	lol “OH JEEZUS…TURN IT OFF! I told you the kids weren’t old enough to load the washing machine.” 22/05/23 11:00:16	1 18

	“…and that was the very imaginative, albeit put together at the last minute, story of Sammy Squirrel and his trolley of plastic plant pots. The BBC would like to thank those of you who did decide to tune in and would again like to apologise for the schedule changes and lack of sports coverage today.” 11/03/23 20:00:16	18

	"Thank you so much for saving my life." "No problem. Just chew your food more in the future before swallowing" 30/01/22 13:14:36	18

	lol Bill Rockwell fined by authorities for graffitiing. 21/06/21 7:10:45	18

	"I was bloody relieved the other day. I thought she was pregnant but it turned out that I was just sat on her legs" 18/06/21 7:38:43	18

	"Gary, there's a time and a place to get an erection, and it's not when we're trying to hold up a collapsed ceiling." 14/05/21 7:00:16	18

	Looks like they're about to tie the knot. 10/05/21 11:01:06	18

	Meet Dave and Larry. The owners of the world's most efficient Coving and Skirting board cleaning company. 18/04/21 11:47:00	18

	Paul was beginning to regret buying the world's heaviest earring. 08/01/21 12:34:53	2 18
The helium in his left shoe wasn't helping either. --Willie Johnson
	Four Men and a Baby 18/11/20 12:00:08	18

	creative Let's hope they don't start making advent calendars... 04/04/20 19:03:05	18

	Dear Mr Rockwell. We have received your stool sample and we think it would be a good idea for you to pop into the surgery to have a quick chat. 01/04/20 19:01:20	18

	lol clever Pissed in the bath? Don't worry, we all have... 17/02/20 21:25:05	1 18
I haven't pissed in her bath, not wanting to be the odd one out, what's her address? --John Glover
	The frog version of Basic Instinct was a little weird. 17/02/20 12:03:52	1 18

	The Farmer Sutra 10/08/19 9:18:45	18

	lol "Children that was such a lovely day out at the Lion safari, It's such a shame daddy had to stay home and fix the leak in the garage roof" 25/01/19 8:01:36	18

	"LET'S MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN" 21/12/18 12:47:04	18

	Have you ever wondered why roadworks take so long? 29/11/23 8:02:14	17

	Captioneers. 06/10/23 11:02:11	3 17
I don't know how you found me, you must have a very special set of skills. However I would say that this picture was taken a while ago as I've put on weight since --Glyn Evans
	"Oh you're back. How was your first day working at Subway?" 14/06/23 11:08:58	17

	This is the first time I've wanted to have 5 a day. 31/03/23 11:00:10	17

	"Thank God. Tea is finished, pots are done and the cubs are asleep. Now I can lie on the sofa with my feet up and relax...ALEXA...PLAY THE SOUND OF A YOUNG INJURED WILDEBEEST BEING RIPPED TO SHREDS...." 16/01/21 12:02:34	1 17
In the past I've had the good fortune to work with Attenborough's sound recordist Chris Watson, and have actually heard this exact recording that he made. He also puts microphones into the carcass of zebras to get recordings of vultures tearing ... --Michael Winner
	lol x2 "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Our Ryanair flight 1052 is having to make an emergency landing and we're burning up on our approach. If I'm being completely honest, that's the least of our problems..." 26/11/20 12:39:34	17

	Dave was furious after he managed to find 246 gold coins, and not one of them turned out to be chocolate. 03/11/20 12:12:22	17

	lol People are absolutely terrified of my dog. I don't know why. I mean just look at this cute picture of him, chasing an old basketball... 03/04/20 19:00:25	17

	lol Lots of time at home, unlimited porn and no toilet roll. What could possibly go wrong... 30/03/20 19:00:10	17

	"Good evening Prince Andrew. Your usual?" 22/12/19 12:02:15	17

	clever "Go on then, give us a Twirl" 03/11/19 20:00:07	17

more captions

last comments (total: 750)

Mr Sheen?

[anon]

30/11/23
11:15am

comment on caption:
Risk Assessment.

Hazard/Risk - Falling from height.
Control Measure - Get the Polish bloke to do it for £20. [The Wolf]

It goes back to the Stone Age where Men used to go out hunting in the cold, while women stayed in the cave with the fire.

[anon]

30/11/23
4:34pm

comment on caption:
"...and my Wife STILL wanted the f*cking heating on" [The Wolf]

I heard it was men round the fire BBQing things, while the women went to Iceland.

[anon]

30/11/23
5:46pm

comment on caption:
"...and my Wife STILL wanted the f*cking heating on" [The Wolf]

Your cat poster is missing?

Willie Johnson

07/12/23
7:06am

comment on caption:
"Sean speaking, would you like me to sing for you?"

"No, I don't want you to f*cking sing for me. I'm calling about you sticking your shitty advert over my missing cat poster." [The Wolf]

LOL. I LOVE this little story : )

[anon]

19/12/23
11:49pm

comment on caption:
It was fun watching my Granny on a rollercoaster until a grey curly pube landed on my ice cream. [The Wolf]

"And Pull Down your Shirt... You look like a "Nut-Crack'er."

[anon]

06/02/24
2:28pm

comment on caption:
"Dave, you know that saying 'You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours'? Well that doesn't apply today." [The Wolf]

Why didn't my daughter ever bring hot blokes like that home?

Karen McDonald

04/03/24
1:45pm

comment on caption:
8am - "Dad, I'm going out on a date tonight at 7pm with a guy who is ten years older than me, is in a band, is on the dole and is covered in tattoos including one on his stomach pointing to his genitals saying (get it 'ere)." 7pm..... [The Wolf]

...You beat me to it.

[anon]

04/03/24
2:34pm

nod to 12.10.20

(caption author)

15/04/24
11:41am

comment on caption:
This week on DIY SOS, a family from Leeds kick the shit out of Nick Knowles. [The Wolf]

I struggled voting for this because I like Nick Knowles, but then it occurred to me to substitute Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen for Nick, and I thought where’s my boots.