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"This'll teach the b*st*rds for leaving me in Tesco's car park with the windows up."
"He has not had a license since 1987".
I've heard he has a 'Very good boy' rating on Uber.
''Your dog must be amazingly intelligent to be driving a car.'' ''He's not that smart. He's failed his driving test three times.''
Lap dog
'Now where's that bloody cat?'
" Stop beeping me, I didn't know the lights were green I'm bloody colour blind"
The hardest part of teaching him to drive was not to keep running over the cat's eyes.
Poor old Buddy never got very far. He had to stop at every lamppost he passed for a wee.
Police are making progress in catching the car thief and have announced that they now have a lead.
Fleasy Rider
"Why am I driving, officer? It's too far to walk."
"No, the ticket is NOT for driving; it's for the head out the window."
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