best earliest latest latest and best captions

"It was a good service."

"Not that good, the brakes failed."

06/10/23 7:18:31

"Is there any doggy there?"

22/10/22 7:00:13

Youngsters nowadays think they gnaw everything

09/06/24 7:03:15

clever

"Come on, you are going for a ride in our police car."

"I hope it's electric."

18/06/24 7:15:01, edited: 18/06/24 7:57:55, suggested edits

lol

We weren't sure if this would work, so a couple of hamsters agreed to be guinea pigs.

15/06/24 19:16:14

Cleaning up the mouse droppings

20/10/24 7:06:05

lol x2

"Dad, why are we balancing oranges on our heads?"

"Because I can't play the guitar and you can't sing."

13/07/24 12:26:03

After 5 years, Dave wondered if it would still be alive anyway.

25/05/24 7:04:51, edited: 25/05/24 7:19:49, suggested edits

"Do you want to accept cookies?..... You bet I do!"

14/09/24 19:04:02

"I could do with a hand to get out."

06/04/24 11:01:53

It's a very friendly neighbourhood; the lady upstairs is always dropping in.

23/09/23 11:15:58, edited: 23/09/23 23:24:46

"Why do you always have to go one better than me? I pull a rabbit out of a hat and you manage this!"

18/03/23 8:04:29

lol

There's the squirrel making an ass out of himself again!

08/11/22 20:00:11

"OK. So you've been shot. Don't harp on about it"

12/08/15 8:18:32

Is this a wind-up?

16/05/24 19:02:00

Let sleeping dogs fly.

01/07/23 11:17:21

"It's ridiculous, you wait all day for one sleigh and then three come along all at once."

11/01/24 8:09:30

This man is so fast even his shadow can't keep up with him.

25/11/23 8:01:46, edited: 25/11/23 12:04:21, suggested edits

Soler power

08/01/23 8:47:00

lol

I may have no house, no clothes, no hot water and have some cattle giving me an ominous pre-charge stare – but at least I’ve got a pot to piss in.

19/11/22 12:00:14

In half an hour this will be the best spot on the whole beach.

08/10/22 7:21:34

creative

I think it was Erik Ten Hag's last signing that sealed his fate.

30/10/24 8:05:08

clever

"Dave, your great great grandfather never looks any different on the family photos."

16/06/24 8:06:26

This tastes offal.

25/04/24 11:08:40

Only canned laughter

07/04/24 7:00:30

The Smith sisters are aged 17, 16, 15, 14 and 13.

13 years ago their parents bought a television.

30/09/22 12:26:47

"Somewhere around here that I dropped that baby."

29/03/18 16:00:28

"I'll raise you three floors."

27/10/24 8:01:53

lol

🎵 Listen to my fart, my achy breaky fart.

19/07/24 7:09:22

Cool place to sleep

06/03/24 12:03:47

Dave got hammered whilst on holiday

30/06/23 7:01:00

"Er, sorry but your stained glass toilet may be a bit more stained."

06/05/23 7:01:13

These boots were made for squawking.

15/12/22 12:00:18

"I don't understand where these blue patches keep coming from."

17/09/22 7:08:25

Great Wine Shark

02/07/24 11:05:35

Tyrannosaurus wrecked

29/05/24 19:01:15

Can't sleep? Try counting calories.

25/02/24 20:14:55

"Where do you put any luggage?"

"In the trunk!"

06/09/23 12:02:07

"I hate it that you force me to wear this stupid hat."

"Look, I hate having to be carried everywhere. Just get on with it."

27/07/23 7:25:29

My father wouldn’t allow us to watch the Simpsons when we were kids. But every time he turned his back would we would see it.

09/10/22 11:00:17

"Fetch Rover..... Er, I threw a tennis ball."

22/09/22 11:42:22

I'm not lichen this design.

08/07/24 7:23:38, edited: 08/07/24 7:25:04

Cool runnings

18/05/24 7:13:54

Cabbage Patch kid

11/05/24 11:00:33

"I remember watching James Hunt and Niki erm..."

"Lauda?"

"Turn your hearing aid up Ethel, I'm almost shouting."

20/04/24 7:26:01, edited: 22/04/24 4:49:34, suggested edits

I left two rabbits on there just the other night.....

07/04/24 11:04:07

"How is the BBQ going?"

"The host is charming."

27/03/24 12:33:58

Coffee table

26/02/24 20:29:14

"Can I not even get a day off on my wedding day!"

29/10/23 8:02:07

Staff at macdonalds need retraining in the Heimlich manoeuvre

05/09/23 7:02:06

The army regretted the day it made Evel Knievel a tank driver.

07/07/23 7:02:52

But Carol, you are NOT in a GREEK restaurant!

07/02/23 20:01:11

Thank goodness I only travel at weekends

02/07/24 19:00:36

My solicitor said I should put it in writing

26/06/24 19:28:07

"Hey Clint, for a few dollars more you could have bought a scooter."

"Er, nah. I'm good."

09/05/24 7:36:20

"... and that is why you need to kill the dog."

22/04/24 19:05:40

"I need to exercise more and get rid of this spare tyre."

09/04/24 7:02:07

... and all because The Little Mermaid loves milk tray.

22/03/24 8:02:43

This is the end of the line.

21/03/24 20:05:14

This trick never grows mould.

12/03/24 8:09:09

"Does your mattress have a topping?"

15/02/24 12:01:30

"Today, we have a trainee pilot."

06/01/24 20:19:16

"Nope, still don't recognise you."

18/12/23 12:23:17

Ethel quickly left the field; she thought she was being stalked.

08/12/23 8:25:37

Hoping to attract some honeys.

03/12/23 12:04:18

It will come in handy for next year's hot day too.

16/10/23 19:06:00

Eat lead

07/10/23 11:11:58

"Sad news is.... they are all blind."

11/08/23 7:15:07, edited: 11/08/23 14:27:39

She doesn't have a head for heights.

22/07/23 7:14:58

"You can clearly see the route to the pet shop to buy food and dreamies."

05/07/23 12:23:33

Just my luck, I get the whiskey that tastes like listerine.

18/01/23 20:52:55

"Yes, I will do it darling ......as soon as I've finished my coffee."

05/01/23 20:07:39

"Will you marry me?" seems pretty crucial.

21/12/22 20:00:12

What do you do when you are camping and worried about someone stealing your tent.

10/12/22 12:02:09

clever

Venus dog trap

27/03/18 8:02:41

"Damn. Still breathing."

17/10/24 11:02:17

Inflation is getting out of hand

11/10/24 11:02:24

Hmm. Not sure if I have.

26/08/24 19:02:24

"You'll be fine Rover. We're just waiting for that gorgeous lift engineer to come again."

23/08/24 11:32:03

Council say that reports that wheelie bins can fly is just a load of rubbish.

18/06/24 19:06:49

Greta's carbon footprint really is very low; she gets carried most places by the police.

18/06/24 7:08:26

Schrodinger's spider

25/05/24 7:05:15

54 of your 5-a-day.

05/03/24 20:02:35

"Stop the car Dave! You've ran someone over!"

03/03/24 8:01:44

He looks like he's got a cob on

14/11/23 12:07:18

"Are you two okay out there?"

07/11/23 12:31:46

Fingers entwinnings

30/09/23 19:07:17

"Bloody smart TV/computer.... It's crashed!"

13/08/23 11:04:40

"Ready, steady.....BANG"

"I just heard a gun shot. I did. No way am I going out there."

04/07/23 12:26:26

Sat navs are for suckers

30/06/23 12:04:44

The most annoying thing is - the boiler isn't working.

17/05/23 11:06:51

The rugby ball itself is a lot smaller but you can practise conversions with this big one first.

13/05/23 11:36:28

Who was the only person unhappy that my uncle was a transvestite? My croissant

07/05/23 11:00:36

A highly-strung baby

22/03/23 12:00:28

"I just followed my sat nav."

08/02/23 8:01:11

"Thanks for showing me what you do at work, dad. What's in the bag?"

"Loads of money, son."

06/10/22 12:07:29

Shotgun wedding

01/10/22 19:00:13

Keeping a cool head

03/04/18 19:23:55

"Mum, why can't we have a coal fire like everyone else?"

28/03/18 20:53:00

"Don't move. There's a butterfly on your back."

23/10/24 19:08:20