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	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	76	3	5	#1	22	101	#2	6405	17458	#16
Photos			2	#3		7	#5	453	1158	#6
Comments	14	1			3	3	#1	1233	1867	#3
Forum Posts								53
Suggested Edits	5							39	44	#3
Tips								1	2	#9

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	3	#5	43	#7	10352	#24
Photos			3	#5	1000	#20
Comments					2026	#5
Forum Posts
Suggested Edits					31	#2
Tips					1	#4

captions comments received captioned photos

captions


lol clever x3 18/01/24 8:12:29, edited: 15/03/24 18:17:37		23 40
Many congratulations, James - blooming marvellous! --Molly R

creative lol 01/09/23 19:02:48, edited: 15/03/24 18:19:32		25 31
Love your caption James. You're gonna need a bigger vote 😉 --Dot Old
	lol x4 "This is most embarrassing, but could you help? Somehow I've caught my penis in the fence." 18/07/21 11:55:41	26 30
Many congratulations, James! I've been out of it a while with Covid and missed some pictures entirely, so this has come as a new delight. A very worthy winner! --Molly R
	lol x3 "Yes, I agree, Dave did do a pretty good job of renovating the litter box ... Now if you don't mind, I'm trying to have a shit." 10/01/24 8:33:06	4 29
Hahahahahaha. That's hilarious! You've made me choke on my toast. --Vivvy En

lol 11/07/24 11:11:14, edited: 03/08/24 8:02:15		17 28
Thanks all for the kind words, Chris for the pic (and the site), Karyn for the Find, all the voters, and Jo for the Supervote. Also, cheers to Steve for forcing me to abandon my Goldilocks work in progress and think of something else ;) Happy captio --James Lennox
	lol x2 creative "Luke, I am your farmer." 23/03/19 8:46:34	3 27
Haha. I don't mind chipping in a tenner for second place (it definitely will not be one of mine)!! Great caption. Genuinely choked on my toast. So thanks for nearly killing me! --The Wolf
	lol x2 creative clever x2 Wash his hands hopefully. 22/01/19 8:22:17	19 27
Thanks Dave and everyone else. Chuffed to be on the board and loving the spirit of Caption.me. Will continue to represent the hobbits down here in NZ. Cheers all. --James Lennox
	clever "I don't like this bit. Skip to the end where I win." 02/09/24 19:01:09	3 26
I wouldn't say deep thought on my part, more of an off shoot or tangent inspired by your caption. I do like the way you put it.I also like when there's ideas like this that there's potential to play around with. I wouldn't wan --Glyn Evans
	lol x3 Ding "Whiskas!" "No, I'm sorry, Tibbles, the correct answer was Pope Benedict the sixteenth." 13/01/23 12:10:08, edited: 13/01/23 12:31:58	3 26
I agree with KT A. This is a killer. --Dave Bryan
	lol x2 "Bloody typical," muttered Dave. "I just paid £25 for mine." 20/01/24 12:10:18	25

	This public gathering is just asking to get Corona. 12/05/20 7:16:32	25

	Looks like the shit's hit the van. 16/07/23 7:23:55	24

	lol "Lord Vader, the Rebels are attacking. Perhaps you should change out of your pyjamas." 27/12/22 20:01:39	23


lol 18/06/22 7:00:31		17 23
Cheers for the congrats, guys. I think I was lucky to pip Tony's one, so I'm very glad he got a 2nd place prize. A big cheer out to the caption.me contributors who have made this extra prize possible. And, as always, many thanks to Chris for the... --James Lennox
	lol "Come on Darth, you slaughtered the Jedi, blew up a planet, killed your mentor ... I reckon 200 hours of community service is fair." 17/03/22 8:01:22	1 23

	lol x3 Dave was horrified to discover the spyhole in his neighbour's fence had been removed, along with the fence. 09/03/21 12:35:25	1 23
...and along with the suit he was wearing. --Willie Johnson

lol creative x2 28/04/20 19:23:57		18 23
First off, I'd like to thank the Academy ... no but seriously, thanks to Chris for picking #3 (I too preferred it to my other), and kudos to Smuldo for being equal #1. Thanks also to Mr. Dome for his "BeeSI: Miami", which forced me to edit my ... --James Lennox
	lol ...followed closely by 12 disciples, a horde of Romans, and the Benny Hill theme music. 01/05/24 11:06:27, edited: 01/05/24 12:38:16, suggested edits	1 22

	Mttens 13/11/23 8:01:26	1 22
Nice one ... It took me a while --John Glover
	lol Marcel Marsupial 29/04/23 7:05:06	22

	"Disaster here in the Paralympic eventing course as Wu Chan's wheelchair refuses to take that jump." 01/12/22 20:07:31	22

	lol clever "Gosh darn it," said Davy-Bob. "Nobody told me you could reload them." 12/12/21 12:08:44	22

	Javelins should only be thrown outdoors. 03/02/20 12:00:41	1 22
The good news is she was standing just past the world record distance. --Willie Johnson
	clever Lawn of the Dead Tue 20:00:35	1 21

	"Ah, here's the problem, son. Some idiot has wrapped half a shirt sleeve round the fan belt." 08/12/24 8:13:40	21

	Ideal for preventing skid marks. 24/05/24 7:01:21, edited: 24/05/24 7:15:24	2 21
Please go ahead. --Paul Gledhill
	lol It's awful when you unpack the Christmas tree and suddenly realise why Mr. Tibbles went missing a year earlier. 05/02/24 8:01:50, edited: 05/02/24 8:21:59	21

	lol "Ok, so the sawing in half bit could have gone better, and I'm sorry the rabbit didn't make it, but anyway ... TA DAA!!" 15/10/23 19:13:01	1 21

	lol Best Captioneer a few weeks in a row and The Wolf gets all cocky. 28/09/23 19:17:44	2 21
Yea I wanna C a Camel toe. --Karen McDonald
	I have a strange urge to whack her with an oversize rubber mallet. 17/11/20 9:17:11	21

	creative clever The cheap seats at the opera are OK. Just make sure you duck when they turn the spotlights on. 31/07/20 7:09:57	21

	101 Demonstrations 10/10/24 19:03:29	20

	Tr 18/07/24 7:06:40, edited: 18/07/24 7:24:18	20

	Skippy Dipping 21/03/24 12:00:40	20

	clever Some people shouldn't be allowed to raise children. 16/09/22 11:00:35	1 20
Usually, they're called parents. --Glyn Evans
	"Perfect, my last batch was a little on the dark side." 29/03/22 19:28:20	20

	lol x2 "I'm sorry luv, but Noah said I'm only allowed to bring one, and Nancy's got better tits." 06/04/21 11:26:41	2 20
"Yes, but I don't think Nancy is the right monkey for you on this trip, Joan," said Percy. :^) --Crunchy Chords
	Harold always believed the son shone out of his arse. 27/08/20 7:00:40	20

	clever If dodos had been better jugglers they wouldn't be extinct. 08/02/20 12:00:17	20

	lol All Day Breakfast 21/05/19 11:00:27	20

	lol creative It was a beautiful wedding, but the honeymoon in France didn't end well. 01/03/19 20:13:39	20

	creative "The Spiderman convention. You?" Tue 12:07:45	1 19
"Bank job." --Al Overy
	The Four Riders of the Alpacalypse 14/01/24 8:17:49	1 19

	"The good news, Mr. Smith, is that the birth went fine. The bad news is that your wife may need a few stitches." 17/08/23 19:05:32, edited: 17/08/23 19:06:03	19

	creative "Hang on, mum, we haven't tied the string round Billy's bad tooth yet." 18/12/22 20:43:09	19

	lol ...and who can forget Dave's final words: "Jeez mate, for a big fella you've got a tiny penis." 27/04/21 19:40:05	1 19
"Pssst! Word of advice. Some Russians might take offence to this as they might see it as an insult to their National animal, however I know that you're talking about it's actual state of being. If you're urinal cake is glowing a funny colour o... --Glyn Evans
	lol clever Kiwi fruit 27/11/20 8:36:38	3 19
ðŸ˜‚ðŸ˜‚ðŸ˜‚ Iâ€™ve since looked at a Kiwi bird on Images and now it all makes sense and itâ€™s a brilliant caption. I couldnâ€™t stop laughing when I saw what the Kiwi bird looked like. I am going to lol this caption because itâ€™s funny and clev... --Karen Oakenfull
	Nobody makes better balloon animals than Dave. 29/09/20 19:15:41	5 19
Always start with a blowfish --Al Overy
	Giving up smoking, diary entry day 23: Either I'm starting to hallucinate or my wife is a bitch. 03/03/19 20:47:18	1 19
No sheâ€™s not, she menthol ðŸ™ƒ --Karen Oakenfull
	"Just a little bit off the topiary, thanks." 03/12/24 8:01:09	1 18

	lol "Flightless my arse." 14/10/24 7:04:51	5 18

	lol "Could you hurry it up, my knees are killing me." 19/09/24 11:11:33	18

	Fairytales are great and all, but finding accommodation is a right bitch when you marry a mermaid. 23/08/24 7:14:01	18

	"OK, get off, kid. It's your big sister's turn." 10/07/24 7:03:44	18

	creative "Um... just cover it back up," said Tony Robinson. 13/05/24 19:20:44	18

	clever Cat on a Hot Twin Oeuf 29/03/24 21:30:50, edited: 29/03/24 21:32:27	18

	"So, my plan is to buy caption.me, rename it pun.me, fire Chris Beach, and ban cat photos. You like that, boy?" 09/03/24 8:06:15, edited: 09/03/24 8:07:26	1 18
--Chris Beach
	A Fish called Honda 04/03/24 20:09:39	18

	"It was either this or pineapple." 24/02/24 20:04:31	18

	lol creative Susan's soul was annoyed enough about being harvested, but spinning around a plastic tube with Mitten's hairballs and Dave's nail clippings was just too much. 16/01/24 8:16:36	18

	Crocks 30/12/23 12:11:12	18

	creative "I thought after 80 years he'd have forgiven me for eating his porridge!" 29/09/23 7:05:07, edited: 29/09/23 7:12:23	18

	"I'm sure we've met, but I'm sorry, my short term memory is terrible." 22/09/23 7:03:59	4 18

	lol "Oh my God! That bull is doing International Sign Language with his horns!" "Really? What's he saying?" "Moo." 16/11/22 20:01:07, edited: 16/11/22 20:01:48	18

	lol "So God created Adam in His own image, which, strangely, was that of a 70s pornstar." 07/05/22 12:28:08	18

	"Quick! Straighten the sign!" 14/12/20 8:05:11	18

	Barbie hasn't changed much in the last 60 years. Ken on the other hand ... 24/11/20 8:17:40	7 18
Well that's interesting and disturbing Willie. I bet Ken's namesake had a fun childhood growing up as the kid who has a penis-less incestuous plastic doll named after him. --James Lennox
	lol Always buy your catnip from a trusted source. 08/09/20 13:23:56	18

	lol Looks like the match went to sudden death. 17/07/19 7:30:33	18

	lol "Sorry, luv, it had been a while." 07/11/24 12:03:42	17

	lol clever "So you were giving the 'loser' gesture to the guy swinging a wrecking ball, and what happened next?" 18/08/24 19:02:37	17

	creative "j.vxd tyuiojkmn njy s[l; hj jggt jhb v rstdebg" And so, Susan decided captioning wasn't her thing. 21/04/24 21:46:59	17

	"Ok, girls, now our husbands have gone, let's put away the Tupperware and bring out the vibrators." 22/02/24 20:01:42, edited: 23/02/24 5:26:55, suggested edits	2 17
This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I shall not put. --Scrijjy Doo
	"Excuse me, sir, can you pull over. We recently had another ostrich photo and the Cat Union is complaining." 01/02/24 20:07:16	17

	"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FLYING THAT SLEIGH YOU FAT BASTARD!!" 24/12/23 20:05:41	17

	DDarth Vader 07/11/23 8:04:00	17

	clever "And here's 4,999 I prepared earlier." 11/08/23 19:20:11	17

	lol x2 When you get drunk, try to jump over something you shouldn't, stumble, land awkwardly on an unsuspecting wombat who gets wedged up your arse so you have to waddle home and get your mum to pull it out... We've all been there. 10/08/23 19:47:41	1 17
I guess the moral of the story is to be careful what's down under when you're Down Under. --Stephen Bean
	"Are you going to take the train, Dave?" "Nah, I think I'll catch a cab." 18/06/23 7:03:56	17

	creative "The worst thing about Great Floods," moaned God. "Is having to dry everything afterwards." 04/06/23 11:01:22	17

	Knot the Nine O'Clock News 01/01/23 20:00:20	17

	Copper feel 09/11/22 12:00:44	17

	What the hell is Sambuchino, and why is throwing it at gnomes a good defence? 31/08/22 7:10:06	17

	The Dunhills have Eyes 09/07/22 7:00:27	17

	"That's OK, you're swimming in our septic tank." 19/05/22 7:02:06	17

	Dear Mrs Parker, While we understand your frustration, we regret to inform you that even though your neighbour was perfectly within their rights to have any garden ornaments they chose, yours exceeds the new garden ornament standards we introduced after your complaint. Please remove it immediately. Yours sincerely, Luton Town Council 08/10/21 7:08:37	17

	"Sorry to intrude, but could I please have my rubber bone back?" 19/07/21 7:07:59	17

	lol Sadly, none of the gospels recorded Jesus's performance of YMCA. 23/04/21 11:12:14	1 17
Described by critics as 'rather wooden'. --Karyn Harrison
	Men be hoovering badly 22/03/21 8:04:11	17

	US politics are insane, General Lee speaking. 24/01/21 8:06:09	17

	"Hey guys, just wondering, if it's not too much trouble, if maybe, just maybe, I could get a bigger litter tray?" 12/04/20 7:01:39	17

	lol "... and then he took his shirt off and things started to get weird." 09/04/20 19:40:08	17

	lol No animals were harmed during the making of this picture, but some were highly pissed off. 25/03/20 8:07:25	1 17
"No animals were harmed" - just someone's dignity. --Willie Johnson
	lol "Ok Dave, you create a diversion while I steal the mini." 09/01/20 12:14:25	17

	"Stick out your tongue Gulliver. STICK OUT YOUR TONGUE!" Lilliputian torturers are nasty little bastards. 05/12/19 8:04:18	17

	lol clever "Look at that old lady swallowing a fly. Should we avoid her?" "Nah, looks like she's chasing a spider now. We should be fine." 02/09/19 7:57:49	17

	"One way or another Monsieur, you will leave a tip." 05/03/19 12:24:57	1 17

	"Well Sir, we don't actually need to strip search you, but we do appreciate your eagerness to cooperate." 15/02/19 20:16:18	17

	lol 3 o'clock that night... "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!! EXTERMINAAATTTE!!!" "Honey, it's your turn." 30/06/24 19:21:25, edited: 30/06/24 19:24:47	16

	"If you want a laugh, throw 3 sticks in different directions." 01/06/24 19:24:18, edited: 01/06/24 19:35:56	16

more captions

last comments (total: 1022)

I didn't put it as a suggested edit just because there were votes, but I am glad you agree it is an improvement!

Molly R

05/09/24
8:14am

comment on caption:
A rare photo of Seabiscuit and Puddlebiscuit. [James Lennox]

Just beat me to it lol

06/09/24
7:01pm

comment on caption:
Moon Boot [James Lennox]

The Dark Side of the Loon

[anon]

08/09/24
7:33am

comment on caption:
"Not bad, but maybe replace the text with a beam of light and a spectrum ... and lose the weirdo family," said Roger Waters. [James Lennox]

Sorry, this took me ages on my phone. 20:07:40 was not there when I started, but nods anyway.

(caption author)

11/09/24
7:11pm

comment on caption:
NHS deny expertise level has declined in their urine analysis technicians. [James Lennox]

Oh, crap, nod 8:41:37, not there when I started.

(caption author)

18/09/24
7:44am

comment on caption:
"No sex tonight, I'm two tyred." [James Lennox]

Both tired is good but two tyred is better.

[anon]

18/09/24
10:43am

comment on caption:
"No sex tonight, I'm two tyred." [James Lennox]

Oh dear, would you believe I did 3 years of film study at Uni, Molly? How embarrassing. Thank-you very much for the correction.

PS: Kudos to yourself and Karyn for even working out what I was talking about given so few clues (and one of them being completely inaccurate). Perhaps I should have mentioned an umbrella?

(caption author)

22/09/24
5:53am