	Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	51	18	45	#9	4286	10057	#27
Comments	9				161	236	#37
Suggested Edits	2

	Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions			3507	#60
Comments			73	#50
Suggested Edits			14	#5

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	lol x3 "For the last time Nan thats the electric bread knife." 20/02/23 20:17:07, edited: 20/02/23 20:17:52	1 31
I wondered why I kept getting cut off. --Neil Mackenzie
	lol x2 creative x2 clever I name this ship Titanic. Excuse me sir why are you dressed as a woman? Just a feeling. 08/04/21 11:16:05	24 31
Thanks for all your comments it really is appreciated although I must confess I did use words from 18 other captions and just put them together in this order so I guess it belongs to all of you really. --Tony S

lol clever x2 01/06/24 11:05:36, edited: 03/07/24 23:27:41		17 30
Brilliant caption. Spend it on your 2.4 children. --C CaMel
	lol I'm glad to see the 3 December winners didn't waste their prize money. 03/01/23 20:18:43	1 29
Who's who? --Glyn Evans

lol 28/02/24 20:51:13, edited: 02/04/24 9:37:34		21 28
Thanks all and big shock as not been on much recently (that thing called family getting in the way.) I shall now as a tribute go and buy some flowers the the mother in laws grave. --Tony S
	clever Waiting list slashed as NHS introduce drive through Gynecology Clinic. 13/07/22 7:01:44	28


lol clever 16/06/22 7:07:13		15 27
Squeezed out of first place and not quite stinking rich. Well done all the same, Tony! --Al Overy
	clever "What's the delay to kick off ?" "We are playing the centipedes and it takes them forever to get their boots on." 17/01/24 20:04:00	26

	"How do I get out of this?" 12/11/23 12:03:00	1 25
"You can't, I made sure of that!" 😁 --Glyn Evans
	"Sorry sir ,hand luggage only." 31/03/23 7:22:24	24

	clever Monastery of sound. 30/03/22 11:50:56	24

	lol That's the last time we Invite Basil Brush onto pro celebrity golf. 31/10/23 23:03:13	23

	I think it's ON upside down. 28/05/23 7:06:26	1 23
Is it not on back to front? --Mr Dome
	creative When your dad gets married to a Mermaid and you have to share a room with her kid. 23/03/23 12:08:30	1 23

	It was on the A la carte menu. 15/11/22 8:05:23	23

	I've been asked to do one on Monday with a crown. 14/09/22 11:09:10	23

	lol It got worse when the manager pulled him off at half time. 09/04/21 19:18:47	23

	Aliens arrive on earth looking for Jobs. 07/10/24 19:10:11	22

	lol clever "If we don't stop messing around Noah said he is going to lock the portholes on his Ark." 22/01/23 8:34:21	22


lol clever 22/01/22 8:26:34		20 22
Having not been able to take part over the last few days it was a massive supprise to come back to this. I must say I have become a massive fan of the 3 day voting period pushing Vivvy En and her superb caption into February :) . It will explain ... --Tony S
	"My turn." 10/06/23 11:01:55	21

	lol x2 creative "Don't worry love the twins are fine." 03/10/22 11:12:21	1 21
Haven't got any bonus votes to give you, but this is very creative and funny! --Kate B
	I got this to attack my worst enemy with but before I could unwrap it I found out he had been found dead , suffocated with a bag over his head. 11/02/22 8:13:13	21

	lol "Before we can dig you out Mrs Jones can you let go of your dog's lead." 11/05/21 7:08:43	21

	creative x2 "Don't worry love I shall get you out of here it's not right to keep a woman in a cage ." 12/07/24 11:04:59	20

	lol Does nobody ever tidy this bloody house it's February. 03/02/24 8:08:24	20

	Cargo pants. 28/01/24 20:10:53	20

	"I can accept you getting him a set of dentures Dave but I'm not happy about the tongue piercing. " 16/09/23 11:15:36	20

	Please don't return me to Jan I'm not lost I'm looking for June she is so much hotter. 11/03/23 8:24:29	20

	Reports that The Simpsons cast members were caught stealing in Iran. 11/02/23 12:04:02	20

	lol "Why would you ask if I fell asleep baby sitting your kids ?" 07/09/24 7:48:16	2 19
My kids were doing stuff like that at 3 months. --Karen McDonald
	"I had better go and change. Being captain of the Titanic I don't want to do anything to embarrass myself." 25/04/24 7:26:56	19

	creative "Moses, wait for us!" 08/04/24 19:02:24, edited: 08/04/24 19:08:05, suggested edits	19

	creative "OK, eat the red one and see how long that takes to come out." 03/11/23 20:06:58, edited: 04/11/23 18:59:57, suggested edits	19

	Dave found transitioning to a woman hard work and was particularly surprised how heavy the breast implants were. 15/09/23 7:11:11	19

	creative It's my most terrifying time at the theme park . Getting myself caught in the zip. 23/09/22 7:11:01, edited: 23/09/22 7:11:28	19

	lol x2 I'm going to write a caption and not going to give a vote. 27/08/22 19:27:40	19

	clever x3 "Do you think she will notice the fake snow dear?" "No but she will notice the fake reindeer. " 22/07/22 7:12:18	2 19
If you have to use puns in a caption, this is the way to do it. It's really very clever. --James Lennox
	"Our daughter will be devastated if you take the cat she found back. Do you have any proof it's yours Mr Hitler.?" 08/07/22 11:14:39	2 19
"Call me Der Furrer." --Scrijjy Doo
	clever Congratulations the 3 of you on your camouflage, Dave you still have some work to do though. 29/04/22 7:18:19	3 19
How did I miss this one? Sorry Tony. Something tells me this one will do ok though. --Willie Johnson
	You know it's dangerous when even the lighthouse has a shocked expression on its face. 24/03/22 8:01:11	2 19
Apostrophe police - 'its dangerous' should read 'it's dangerous'. --Dot Old
	lol x2 I give up where has he hid the baby? 11/09/21 19:06:10	1 19
For that matter, I think cats would fit in very well with this room. --Willie Johnson
	clever All the swans have got their heads stuck in the feeders again Bob. 02/05/21 19:25:24	2 19
It's pea green. --Willie Johnson
	lol Tell the vet she can have her leg back when I get my balls back. 25/03/21 20:28:23	19

	clever An infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters can rewrite Shakespeares work but 4 monkeys 1 laptop and 10 minutes can reproduce a Katie Price Autobiography 21/03/21 8:04:06	19

	I think they are horrible repulsive creatures but my wife wanted to have kids. 09/11/24 20:04:35	18

	"Why have you stopped ?" "The little green man is flashing ." 17/09/24 19:20:04	18

	creative Now there's an organisation I can get behind , Just Stop Dancing On Ice. 03/11/23 8:11:22, edited: 03/11/23 19:57:15, suggested edits	18

	lol "Ahhh it's Persil , no we won't be going back to our old washing powder." 22/07/22 19:42:31	2 18

	lol "Play louder I can still hear them trying to make another baby." 16/01/22 20:28:59	18

	lol x2 "Don't let your mum catch you looking at those white women with their tits covered." 14/01/22 8:07:54	18

	lol "Oh f@ck ,could my day get any worse?" "Brace yourself Barry the bull is taking a run up." 10/12/21 8:10:20	1 18
Maybe that will get her the rest of the way over. --Willie Johnson
	lol "I'm in the grand prix officer." "Typical trying to play the race card." 29/06/21 19:07:11	18

	Most of the people in our street are odd. 01/09/24 11:34:11	1 17

	Have you been letting the Princess of Wales take your photo again ? 14/03/24 12:06:43	1 17
Sir Ian McKellen doesn't object to being touched up. --Troompa Loompa
	"Mum says she wants her swimming costume back." 02/03/24 8:22:30	17

	Coming home to find my husband like this was really disturbing . It is only July after all. 21/07/23 19:19:55	17

	"Hide me quick the I'm a celebrity crew have run out of kangaroo testicles." 29/04/23 7:06:30	17

	clever x2 Desert island disc. 21/02/23 20:22:12	17

	lol "Ooh ooh ohh." "Sorry are my hands cold?" 16/06/22 11:18:59	17

	"Let's go and supprise your sister and see how she is getting on at University." 26/01/22 12:04:17	17

	"OK which one of you put Viagra in Barry's cocoa the undertakers now can't shut the coffin lid." 22/01/22 20:47:15	1 17

	"Maybe you should have waited to see who was a match as your kidney doner before giving the t-shirts Dave." 31/12/21 20:27:50	1 17
Kidney kebabs? --James Lennox
	When I said put the heating on.. 16/12/21 20:14:00	17

	It's good to get all your kids round for Christmas. 09/12/21 8:07:19	1 17
Who's that big kid on the left? --Willie Johnson
	Blood sweet and tiers. 17/09/21 7:01:06	17

	"I kept popping out like that then they had me castrated. " 30/06/21 7:02:34	17

	"Congratulations sir , excuse me if I don't shake your hand." 07/06/21 19:16:59	17

	lol Tim's gestures have lost some impact since he had his middle finger amputated 11/02/21 20:41:03	2 17
I wouldn't recommend it, that's how he lost it in the first place. Superglue's no joke, especially with a serial supergluer on the loose. --Glyn Evans
	For a hot sunny day when you are roasting. 15/09/24 11:06:33	1 16

	creative If that caption wins the £50 I'm giving up. 02/07/24 19:31:06	16

	"Go from 2nd to 3rd,then ease to 4th , now a high 5." 03/03/24 8:08:50	16

	For the stairs we make the bread with plain flour for the escalator we use self raising. 14/09/23 19:08:32	1 16
And for bungalow we make the flatbread. --Karen McDonald
	The Nutty Professor. 17/07/23 19:11:02	16

	Careful, when he wants a drink he schnaps. 04/02/23 20:41:54, edited: 04/02/23 20:42:06	16

	"The prisoners are at it again Sir." "Find me the ring leader." 29/01/23 20:11:48	16

	clever Star Wars fans preferred C3PO to R2D2 in general. 07/10/22 7:17:10	16

	The Uk looks back enviously on the wealth and prosperity of the 70s 01/09/22 19:09:42	16

	creative The Pharaoh Rocher is served. 28/08/22 11:32:54	16

	"It's the only way I can stop it crossing the road." 15/07/22 11:03:18	1 16

	The dad arrested for taking his child out on an electric scooter was later released with no charge. 21/01/22 20:27:46	1 16
He doesn't even have charge of his own kid. --Willie Johnson
	I'm not saying Lord Snootingdon has a large estate but when he tells his dog to fetch his slippers.... 03/12/21 20:18:25	16

	clever "So what's the situation with the kid stuck in the vending machine?" "No change." 11/09/21 7:31:13	16

	And Weight Watchers slimmer of the year award goes to... 03/04/21 11:03:33	16

	Just do it I can't Just press the bloody thing I know I should but I can't do it Just do it But the vote will knock my caption off the top. 30/03/21 19:32:27	16

	lol After the serious acting roles dried up Skippys decline into porn films was a sad sight. 22/01/21 8:03:28	16

	Do you need a toe ? 02/11/24 8:45:24	15

	Is this your 1st Christmas in Australia ? 15/10/24 7:05:02, suggested edits	15

	Troy Story . 05/05/24 7:34:23	15

	The estate agents finally find the perfect house for Fred and Wilma. 27/04/24 7:09:19	1 15

	I prefer the 2 pee machines. 28/03/24 12:04:06	15

	They are well hung. 07/01/24 8:06:47	15

	"I said I wanted a traditional Christmas. " "Sorry I thought you said transitional. " 21/07/23 19:36:43	15

	Is it time to wake the pilots guide dog yet? 01/07/23 11:25:32	15

	She got the horse in the divorce settlement having been saddled with 10 kids. 22/06/23 19:20:48	15

	clever And the pilot had spent ages worrying about the rain in Spain. 24/02/23 12:05:12	15

	I sh1t in baseball caps so we are even. 19/05/22 7:06:54	15

	For years I was obese with a large tummy but it's all behind me now. 28/04/22 19:19:47	15

	Ringo. "Hey Paul this woman is a clairvoyant and says after the band I'm going to make more money doing voice overs as a tank engine." Paul. "Oh yeah and I bet I'm going to marry a 1 legged woman who runs off with my money." John. "Who cares as long as live a long happy life and give it a good shot." 05/09/21 7:17:57	15

	Environmentalists examine car bun emissions. 29/06/21 11:01:09	1 15
Might have to get the muff-ler fixed. --Willie Johnson

more captions

last comments (total: 362)

"But that's not Dave."

"Whoa, that camouflage IS good."

Willie Johnson

30/04/22
3:17pm

comment on caption:
Another good attempt at the camouflage Dave have 1 more try [Tony S]

Good story : )

[anon]

02/05/22
3:30am

comment on caption:
Congratulations the 3 of you on your camouflage, Dave you still have some work to do though. [Tony S]

How did I miss this one? Sorry Tony. Something tells me this one will do ok though.

Willie Johnson

02/05/22
8:04pm

comment on caption:
Congratulations the 3 of you on your camouflage, Dave you still have some work to do though. [Tony S]

It was well camouflaged Willie so easy to miss

(caption author)

02/05/22
8:09pm

comment on caption:
Congratulations the 3 of you on your camouflage, Dave you still have some work to do though. [Tony S]

Eve: "So am I!"

The all seeing God lacking hindsight hadn't created anyone else they could hook up with.

Cane and Abel were still born though. They realised too late but God realised that making them the first gay parents would set an example to future couples.

Then The Bible was written and unfortunately it was edited out.

Glyn Evans

07/05/22
1:54pm

comment on caption:
The Bible if written today.
"Eve I need tell you something ,I think I'm gay."
The End. [Tony S]

From the frying pan into the fire...

Glyn Evans

09/05/22
8:10am

comment on caption:
My last boyfriend didn't like me giving oral sex so I started dating a pillow which will cushion the blow. [Tony S]

Ouch, similar theme to 8:10:06 maybe? Normally I wouldn't comment, but votes are more precious now.

[anon]

12/06/22
7:32am

comment on caption:
"Bloody hell Dave you're meant to be our handy man stop writing your stupid captions and just fix the chair." [Tony S]

I think the caption is sufficiently different from 8:10:06 for nods not to be required. However, I agree with you about votes being more precious. When I was out on my early morning walk I've never seen so many captioneers trying to sell their grannies.