	This Week				Last Week			All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	64	4	14	#16	22	48	#8	3332	7933	#34
Photos								1	6	#21
Comments	14							84	175	#43
Suggested Edits	6							4	3	#14

	This Week		Last Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions	19	#12	24	#18	3642	#56
Photos					26	#101
Comments					36	#65
Suggested Edits					9	#9

captions comments received captioned photos

captions


lol x3 creative x2 clever 30/11/22 12:04:55		26 38
Bloody hell. I take a break for a couple of days and when I come back both the November AND December prize winners have been announced ;) --James Lennox

lol 17/08/23 7:12:00		22 33
Many thanks for all your kind comments. Still can't tell which captions are going to get 30+ votes and which will be tumbleweed (which is most of them!) --John Harrison
	lol x2 clever Dave decided there and then that if he ever had another affair, it would be with a woman who lives in a bungalow. 08/01/24 12:12:53, edited: 08/01/24 12:30:47	32


lol 16/02/23 12:00:22		18 29
Great caption John, I bow to your humor and cleverness. And not just because it's prayer time. If this were ever to happen to you, I hope it won't be the kind of person who reads every label several times before making up their mind.... --Willie Johnson
	Henry Wrinklier 08/10/23 7:13:00	28

	lol creative Tiddles was beginning to think he’d need to make his own dinner. 17/01/23 12:00:27	26

	False Alarm 14/08/24 7:07:40	25

	Time to bring on a sub. 29/08/23 11:00:59	25

	lol Road sign creator collapses dead on keyboard. Final work displayed as tribute. 27/01/23 8:02:40	1 25

	When you regret going paperless. 11/06/24 11:25:01	24

	"No, no...you get off to work. We'll be fine." 16/05/24 7:07:51	24

	lol 🎵Climb every fountain..🎵 03/05/24 7:10:42	24

	lol clever x2 “Suella freakin’ Braverman…what’s yours?” 23/05/23 7:00:20	24

	lol x2 When all you can get is an online dentist. 01/10/24 11:02:51	23

	lol "He'll be full of beans in no time." 05/05/24 19:13:15	1 23

	"Well, you grabbed my tit." "I know, but I was trying to tickle your kneecaps." 11/01/24 12:07:48, edited: 11/01/24 12:14:57	23

	lol x2 "...and then later on, we'll get on to some actual motor bikes." 16/12/23 12:02:57	1 23

	“Have you tried switching it off and on again?” 08/03/23 20:00:12	1 23
Can you find the switch? --Willie Johnson
	It was the perfect practical joke...Dave hid his wife's hairbrush where he knew she'd never look. 08/02/23 12:08:53	1 23

	lol x2 creative Thomas The Tank Engine woke up with a throbbing head and a mouth like the inside of a budgies cage. "Can anyone remember where we left Annie and Clarabel last night?" he said. 25/10/22 21:32:00	23

	lol "I think it's a Bigasso." 12/02/24 20:08:22	22

	lol Dave was beginning to regret complaining about Linda making him "the same boring sandwiches" for lunch. 30/03/23 11:36:22	22

	lol clever "No, I'm fine...but have you seen a bloke on water skis?" 11/10/22 20:03:42, edited: 11/10/22 20:45:43	2 22
*seen --James Lennox
	lol x3 creative "For Christ sake Dave, can't we just have regular sex like all the other pigeons?" 12/05/24 7:04:42	1 21
I think Dave's been watching Fifty Shades of Grey. --Karyn Harrison
	clever Well that's Prince Andrew's Christmas present sorted. 08/12/23 20:02:54	1 21

	clever French Nickers 06/11/23 20:08:20	21

	lol x2 Loo Ferrigno 16/05/23 11:00:51	1 21

	clever Ski Sundae 16/01/23 12:00:13	21

	Dave's wife was just relieved she hadn't gone away for the full week. 05/11/22 8:00:42	21

	clever x2 The audition notice for Catwoman should have been clearer. 24/04/24 7:16:06	20

	lol "Who are you waving at?" "That nice lady from social services." 09/04/24 19:02:59, edited: 10/04/24 7:14:06, suggested edits	1 20

	clever There were many things Dave liked about being a vet, but treating a Hippo with haemorrhoids was not one of them. 14/02/24 8:24:41	20

	lol The police advanced driving test was a lot more challenging back in the 60's. 04/02/24 8:58:56	20

	"Any last requests?" 17/01/24 8:24:33	20

	lol Not everyone could carry that outfit off like Dave, let alone at their mother-in-laws funeral wake 22/11/22 20:00:38	20

	lol Party like it's 1889 26/10/22 19:00:34	20

	lol x2 "That reminds me, I still need to get the pigs in blankets." 18/10/24 11:03:42	19

	Take top off and shake. 27/08/24 19:00:33	19

	Supply of photos dries up and site owner forced to delve into personal collection. 26/06/23 11:03:39, edited: 26/06/23 12:45:55	6 19
"photo's" should be "photos"Other than that, caption is 100% accurate. If anyone wants the uncensored version, DM me, I'm open to reasonable offers :-D --Chris Beach
	Nice, but I really need a boot. 14/02/23 12:00:14	19

	clever Ash Test Dummies. 03/06/24 19:05:03	18

	"Very impressive sir, but the sperm bank is across the street." 26/05/24 7:22:15	18

	You know a marriage is doomed when the divorce lawyers are already circling at the ceremony. 11/04/24 7:27:49	18

	lol "If you get your scrotum trapped in your chain mail again, you're on your own." 23/02/24 12:03:45	18

	clever "Ah, I see you bought the Jehovah's Witness Repellant Package." 01/12/23 8:04:02	18

	"Why can't I have a mobility scooter like everybody else?" 13/10/23 7:15:49	18

	Dave was beginning to think it was time to trim his chest hair. 09/09/23 11:01:23	18

	"Now where's that tosser with the Rottweiler?" 06/05/23 11:06:02	18

	“I’m going on strike as well. They’re paying me chicken feed.” 18/04/23 7:00:15	18

	Superman was confident he could tackle one Danny Devito, but not three of the buggers. 03/02/23 20:00:20	18

	"So, are there any downsides to living in Oz, Dave?" 07/10/24 7:10:12, edited: 07/10/24 8:49:52	17

	Gastronaut. 07/06/24 7:25:29	17

	lol Twat. 31/01/24 20:17:12	1 17
Funny thing is, if you look hard enough at this ridiculous outfit, you can actually see the letters T-W-A-T --James Lennox
	Dave's cunning plan to sneak off to the pub was working so far. 13/12/23 20:43:23	17

	lol "Give it three years and she'll look just like me. Just sayin'" 18/10/23 7:03:56	17

	"Can't believe all those folk just ran off and left all this food behind" 16/10/23 11:03:15	1 17

	"There's got to be easier ways of sneaking out for a pint Reg." 05/07/23 19:04:04	17

	lol “Unfortunately, none of the four photographs submitted conform with UK passport criteria. Please retake without the stuffed cat.” 15/02/23 12:01:59, edited: 15/02/23 14:19:57	4 17
The dead parrot sketch is light hearted, is it not? 🤔 --Glyn Evans
	lol creative Rare find for David Attenborough as he stumbles across the nest of a Leather-Arsed Grebe 26/11/22 12:00:34	17

	lol x2 "I thought the hangover was bad enough...and then the toilet seat slammed down." 17/11/22 12:43:12	17

	"Thought you'd appreciate the hard back." 02/09/24 19:05:31	16

	"No bloody Surrey police cars up here!" 19/06/24 7:16:28	1 16

	"I still say it would have been easier to use the battering ram, Sarge." 29/05/24 7:16:00, edited: 29/05/24 7:43:51	16

	Chilling photo of Maria Bolokov, the Russian serial killer who kept a souvenir from every man she murdered. 12/04/24 19:03:04, edited: 12/04/24 19:03:38, suggested edits	7 16
Even more chilling.. Nora Bolokov. --Mark England
	From the new mother-of-the bride range. 14/01/24 20:01:51	16

	"No, carry on...I will get into those sodding leggings." 12/01/24 12:02:33	16

	It's a scam. He pays you £15 an hour to let him sing...but it's £100 to make him stop. 06/12/23 20:03:25	16

	"Unfortunately for Susan, the similarity to a Donkey ended there." 04/12/23 8:12:21	16

	Rupee cushion 09/11/23 12:03:05	16

	"It's not that I'm not enjoying it, but could we go to the swings or something on our second date?" 03/11/23 20:05:39	16

	lol Anyone repulsed by Dave's depiction of Marilyn Monroe really wasn't ready for his Sharon Stone. 08/10/23 13:31:43, edited: 08/10/23 13:34:16	1 16

	Ironically, it was this exact pose that had resulted in her becoming a mummy in the first place. 15/09/23 7:09:39	16

	Bone China 08/09/23 11:01:04	1 16
Except for the teeth. They're porcelain. --Karyn Harrison
	The Repair Shop "not what it was", say TV critics. 25/08/23 11:25:27	16

	Round one. 18/05/23 15:15:35	16

	creative Mystery surrounds fate of missing hairdresser. 17/05/23 7:06:41	16

	“Think that again and I’ll punch you in the face.” 17/12/22 12:00:14	16

	“Do you have everything you need madam, or would you like me to get you a shovel?” 26/11/22 8:41:34	16

	“Not another one Boris!” 21/11/22 20:00:14	16

	clever If you thought getting on the wrong side of The Mafia was bad, try upsetting The Entomology Society. 06/11/22 21:23:44	16

	creative clever Dave liked to have his Cholestrol checked regularly. 17/10/22 9:26:23	16

	Subspecies 24/10/24 7:05:44	15

	It was at this point that Dave started to question his decision to fashion a parachute out of twigs and leaves. 07/09/24 19:02:50	15

	"It's bad news Jim, we've found blood in your drug stream." 25/08/24 19:02:33	15

	Once again, Dave had failed to read the invitation properly. 03/06/24 7:03:37, edited: 03/06/24 20:47:14, suggested edits	6 15
One again, only Dot read the caption properly --Mr Dome
	Cutting your toes off to spite your lace. 28/05/24 19:09:33	1 15

	Manhandle 15/05/24 11:10:51	15

	Puss In Roots 09/05/24 19:25:00	15

	"Not the same as a proper tummy tickle, is it Dave?" 05/11/23 8:04:06	15

	"Bloody hell Dorothy, looks like Tinman has been working out." 02/07/23 19:05:41	15

	Picture clearly faked. No way that ginger kid would be out in the sun. 21/06/23 11:12:31	15

	Dental in plant 25/03/23 20:33:50	15

	"I don't care if you have a flat tyre sir, you can use a jack like everyone else." 21/03/23 8:05:41	15

	Heads or Wales? 08/03/23 12:00:12	15

	It was a difficult job, but being an undertaker wasn’t without perks 02/02/23 8:00:41	15

	"Anything for the weekend sir?" "Yes, a dozen Elastoplast and a prosthetic nose please." 29/01/23 14:35:09	15

	Dealer-shep 21/12/22 8:16:18	15

	Britain’s border control capability explained 07/12/22 20:01:29	15

	lol "This is gonna take for ever. Tight sod could have bought easy-peelers!" 11/11/22 20:59:55	15

	lol clever It was a simple system. If there was a pair left, they'd start dredging the pool. 19/10/22 8:42:15	15

more captions

last comments (total: 204)

Damn beaten to it! Vote for the earlier one.

(caption author)

17/11/22
8:04am

comment on caption:
Derek hadn’t got Maureen wet for years but this was his big chance. [John Harrison]

You were just slower on the button.

Barrie Bullock

17/11/22
1:27pm

comment on caption:
Derek hadn’t got Maureen wet for years but this was his big chance. [John Harrison]

"I don't agree, it sounds like this psychiatrist is suffering from NPD and doesn't like people "stealing" their thunder by having other people as full of themself being around them so they're trying to eliminate you through a diagnosis.

I'm incredibly self content, so much so that I'm self content seven times over"

Glyn Evans

18/11/22
10:48am

comment on caption:
"I've seen the Psychiatric report and it says you're too full of yourself." [John Harrison]

So clever and funny.

Karen Oakenfull

30/11/22
6:28pm

comment on caption:
It was the first venue designed
exclusively for Goldfish funerals.

[John Harrison]

Brilliant caption. Just a note to anyone wondering why it’s not in the November cash prize shortlist - this caption will be in the December prize window when it finishes its three-day voting period

Chris Beach

(admin)

30/11/22
6:56pm

comment on caption:
It was the first venue designed
exclusively for Goldfish funerals.

[John Harrison]

Many thanks for the kind comments on this one. Couldn't think of anything for a while and almost gave up.

(caption author)

30/11/22
9:10pm

comment on caption:
It was the first venue designed
exclusively for Goldfish funerals.

[John Harrison]

You should have given up, the last goldfish was only sleeping. 😴

Barrie Bullock

01/12/22
3:00pm

comment on caption:
It was the first venue designed
exclusively for Goldfish funerals.

[John Harrison]

Bloody hell. I take a break for a couple of days and when I come back both the November AND December prize winners have been announced wink

James Lennox

01/12/22
7:46pm

comment on caption:
It was the first venue designed
exclusively for Goldfish funerals.

[John Harrison]

This made me chuckle 😁

Mr Dome

02/12/22
11:57am

comment on caption:
In the early days, the inventor of Photoshop was consumed by the fear that it would become a vehicle for the banal, the trivial and the downright shite. But nothing had prepared him for this. [John Harrison]

Really sorry John, I meant to give this a creative supervote and completely forgot because of work. Brilliant caption and a more than deserving December winner!