	All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	10	4172	6223	#39
Photos
Comments	3	103	94	#53
Forum Posts		8

	All Time
	Voted	Rank
Captions	6475	#37
Photos	19	#107
Comments	115	#45
Forum Posts

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	lol x2 I may have Parkinsons, but I can eat my own ice cream thank you very much. 07/09/15 11:18:26	3 26

	lol creative clever "Where's the snake darling?" "Upstairs with the twins." 23/01/16 23:08:48	3 24
Hey, Lucky. Like our friend, Zac, I see that you won two out of three in "your row." But, can you sweep a whole row, get a triple? No pressure. Just sayin'...you came pretty close. --Greg Curtis

lol clever x2 22/08/21 11:09:12		21 23
Lucky Elperro has insisted I invest the prize money into the running of the site, which is very kind of him. Thanks! --Chris Beach
	clever Second base camp. 21/03/21 20:53:09	3 22
Where's fourth base camp? In the valley? --Mr Dome
	lol x4 Deaf version. 12/10/15 15:30:15	21

	At Edinburgh Zoo, keepers were at a loss to explain the darts in all the chimpanzees arses. 23/02/15 20:08:26	1 19
Maybe it was Croccy Wilson. --Doh Nutter
	lol "He's always like that after a visit to the blood donor centre". 22/03/14 21:18:30	19

	"I'm going to climb that mountain. If I'm not back in two days, send more batteries" 29/12/13 21:24:07	3 19
It's always the way- the ones that I think are really good never get more than a single vote (if any), and some of the captions that I knock off sometimes come top. I wish I knew what the formula was for writing captions that get votes- in the ca... --Michael Winner
	lol I preferred that photo of you walking away scratching your arse. 11/03/14 21:36:43	18

	lol "Make up for Daryl Hannah please!" 02/04/22 19:41:59	1 18
There's no way to make up for that picture. My eyes will never be the same. --Willie Johnson
	"Where are your parents?" "I got twenty quid for them half an hour ago". 13/08/21 14:02:51	18

	At age 91, Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, takes a nostaligic stroll down London's Oxford street. 29/03/21 11:24:04	1 18
"Marty, where we're going, we don't need high streets" --Glyn Evans
	Mary was the shame of her Glaswegian family. Nine years old and still couldn't manage half a bottle of vodka. 29/12/20 14:09:18	18

	creative clever Mick McManus was getting sick of the jokers vandalising his storefront. 22/04/20 20:41:12	2 18
He knew how to handle himself in the ring --Mr Dome
	Dave didnt mind being fired out of a cannon. but the three mile walk back was always a pain. 07/12/19 10:54:43	18

	lol You spoil that ferret Dave. 16/06/21 20:45:33	1 17

	clever No Bill! That's not what Caption Me means. 24/02/16 21:23:44	1 17
Brilliant :) --[anon]
	lol clever Pete hadn't just beaten anorexia. He'd pummeled it to death. 26/10/19 18:45:28	16

	lol After a recent sex change operation, Gordon just couldn't leave it alone. 21/11/13 8:35:13	15

	Young Afghan arriving on a beach at Dover wonders if the dinghy is still there. 29/09/21 11:56:22	1 15
Yes, she's still there, trying to dance with him. --Willie Johnson
	Showing his incompetence again, the PM forgets to leave his phone number. 27/01/21 12:00:49	15

	You might think it was funny giving me that vindaloo, but wait till you see what you'll have to pick up in the park later. 14/04/20 11:44:18	15

	lol x2 "Normal people will see the outline of a vase in this picture, but the bedwetters will see two sheep". 02/11/20 15:54:10	14

	lol "This'll teach the bstrds for leaving me in Tesco's car park with the windows up." 08/08/20 20:38:38	1 14
There there, no need to get all hot under the collar. --Willie Johnson
	Catnip was great, but the hallucinatory comedowns were awful. 16/09/19 13:24:30	14

	creative x2 Amazon deny attempts to monopolize the home delivery market. 22/09/15 21:01:37	14

	creative Apples miniature self-charging wristwatch phone was a great success, but the solar panel's a bit of a buggar. 16/09/14 14:26:54	14

	lol In Ecuador you take camomile for stomach upsets, cinnamon bark for flu and stand in the Amazon for six hours if you got drunk at the weekend and went with two dollar Lola. 26/05/14 20:05:15	14

	David Icke's lizard prophecy may have some credibility afterall. 01/02/14 12:21:29	14

	lol The Government announce new disability benefit test. If you can get out alive you were not sufficiently disabled to qualify. If you die however, it is accepted you were disabled. 13/07/13 19:31:12	14

	In Bournemouth the Beach Inspectors last job of the day is to see who is still alive. 16/06/14 16:00:17	13

	In courtroom reinactment, Oscar Pistorious introduces new suspect. 15/03/14 8:54:21	13

	lol hic "take me home Dr f*cking Who". 06/01/14 14:47:16	1 13
It's about time --John Glover
	Replacing the ball with a Lous Vuitton handbag had certainly increased motivation. 10/11/13 11:35:44	13

	Preparations are made for the arrival of Silvio Berlusconi's 6 year sentence. 03/07/13 13:49:21	13

	Shortly afterwards, Adam and Steve were asked to leave Kew Gardens. 22/02/12 11:27:16	13

	lol "When I die, don't waste your money on expensive funerals". "Okay" 28/09/21 12:44:01	1 13
"Oh, and you said that you wanted to go to Dignitas? About that..." --Michael Winner
	Charing Cross hospital amputation department confirm problems with their incinerator. 28/09/21 11:16:45	13

	"How many times Have I told you not to take the short cut past the magnet factory" 27/09/21 19:30:40	13

	The lengths some Scots will go to when crossing a toll bridge. 20/04/20 21:03:34	13

	Correct preparation for the postman's arrival was essential. 06/09/19 20:31:42	13


lol x2 07/03/16 17:34:20		13

	The Russian pub domino team emphatically state they are clean of performance drugs. 22/11/15 11:34:17	13

	clever ...we're gonna need another referee. 30/09/15 19:51:13	13

	The photo that was going to ruin Stephen Hawkins disability benefit claim. 18/10/14 11:03:18	13

	lol SAS death squad reputed to already be in Putin's palace. 03/05/22 13:36:16	12

	lol "Yes we know you're an opera singer Mr Potts, but for heavens sake it's three in the morning" 18/01/21 0:54:24	12

	Dentist closed. No problem. 29/10/20 18:18:00	12

	Alas poor Yorick I stewed him well. 07/11/19 8:46:41	12

	lol I'd go and get a dustpan and brush if I were you. I'm about to leave a deposit. 10/03/16 20:06:49	3 12
No problem. --[anon]
	There were going to be some disappointed boys in the yard. 23/01/16 8:58:20	12

	Hugh Hefner re-releases first ever Playboy edition. 15/10/15 7:21:51	12

	lol After hearing that Paul Hollywood is not averse to a little infidelity, Mary Berry limbers up. 07/10/15 19:31:48	12

	lol The boys intention to go to Syria on a mighty Jihad were not off to a good start as Mike had not brought the right bus fare and Mick had forgotten his sandwiches. 20/06/15 13:00:15	12

	lol Don't you just hate menstruating seagulls. 21/07/14 16:46:42	2 12
Clearly by the photo this is not always the case...no wonder you stayed anon. ;) --Lucky Elperro
	lol Stepping off at the airport, Julian was not the smartest person to visit Russia. 21/02/14 12:18:18	2 12
Nah, he's pretty much Stalin the obvious. --nepali_ninja
	"Did I win a goldfish?" 31/01/14 12:48:23	12

	Someone please explain to Don how a photographic memory really works. 18/09/13 11:22:55	12

	The Friedgroom. 31/08/13 19:11:29	12

	Bryan signs on at the local Jobcentre. 15/08/13 9:00:38	12

	London bus drivers trophy cabinet. 28/02/12 11:24:05	12

	After blowing himself to pieces Mohammad enters paradise and meets the first of his promised 64 virgins. 05/05/22 20:36:28	1 11

	lol Somewhere up in islamic heaven, an ISIS suicide bomber is about to meet the first of his 32 virgins. 30/08/21 13:07:06	7 11
72 or 32? What's a suicide bomber going to do with all those virgins? Is it that 72 is the right number of leftover pieces of him that can be assigned to each virgin as a souvenir after he's detonated himself? Or does blo... --Glyn Evans
	lol "Now ladies and Gentleman, I do believe that in the far future, sex dolls will be made with latex, but until then..." 03/04/21 16:24:53	11

	Never ask the Dutch Police for directions to the YMCA. 16/03/21 13:22:40	11

	lol On the plus side, Dave did have the right size bolt to fix his lawn mower. 24/10/20 18:04:36	11

	When I wer a lad we ad proper liqourice laces. 06/08/20 20:48:25	11

	creative Well owl be clammed. 27/02/20 8:33:08	2 11
Sorry Lucky, I only remembered to vote for this photo after you were revealed. Great caption. --Stephen Bean
	"err...you haven't seen a blind person wandering around aimlessly have you?" 10/03/16 20:12:24	11

	His master's vice. 28/01/16 20:19:05	11

	clever US Border guards say they are having trouble catching Oscar Pistorious inspired drug runners. 22/10/15 20:10:32	11

	The Hungarian child pickpockets really were the best in the business. 14/10/15 20:13:52	11

	And the contestant leaving bake-off this week is... 07/09/15 11:05:57	11

	I SAID, TWO CHEESE BURGERS AND A F++KING HAPPY MEAL! 07/06/14 10:18:20	11

	Dish of the day - Cock au white van. 06/06/14 19:27:00	11

	Suspicions were raised when Tom provided his employers with a microscopic picture of the virus which was keeping him off work. 02/06/14 11:08:55	11

	Local cats are suspected of using paintball guns. 28/02/14 12:46:52	11

	and after centuries of Royal inbreeding... 01/02/14 12:19:18	11

	In a field close by, Ermentrude was desperately looking for her hat. 20/11/13 21:07:57	11

	The best tip-offs often came straight from the horses mouth. 09/09/13 19:00:37	11

	At the Oscar Pistorious courthouse, extra toilet doors are installed to give visitors a fighting chance. 05/05/14 12:02:27	1 10
Everyone needs legends. Except Oscar, he needs leg ends. --Michael Monkhouse
	Disability living allowance paper claims centre. 14/02/14 20:01:06	10

	The community nurse found it a lot of effort to move around vaccinating everyone, but had solved the problem with use of a blowpipe. 16/11/13 13:49:08	10

	Wheazy Rider. 13/11/13 15:48:52	10

	Her husband says they make love three times a week...whether he wants to or not. 09/09/13 11:56:07	10

	Although they had arrived by midday, at midnight they still had not managed to put their one-man tents up. 18/08/13 11:26:44	10

	Comatoes 18/02/12 12:16:42	10

	After two hours of looking everywhere, Tony accepted that he was not going to remember where the heck he put his tray of bread. 17/08/22 10:09:03	10

	"PULL ME UP! PULL ME UP!" "Why, have you found it?" "NO THERE'S A F**KIN TUBE TRAIN COMING!" 29/07/22 22:38:34	10

	"Let me give you a Tolkien of my appreciation" 11/02/22 1:40:54	10

	Police confirm the daring escape of an unidentified male from a South African prison, but say they are reasonably certain it was not Oscar Pistorius. 28/09/21 11:14:37	10

	"Well this is embarrassing", said the dog. 13/05/20 20:13:53	1 10
Retriever doesn't look over pleased either. --Woofer 6
	I think I'll take the medium gastric band next time. 14/04/20 20:28:58	1 10
But she's still overweight. - Annie Rexic --Willie Johnson
	lol We were going to put him in the usual sardine can, but after listening to Greta Thunberg he insisted on cardboard. 23/02/20 22:20:30	10

	lol And this is why you should never marry your cousin. 20/11/19 0:24:39	10

	lol I do wish you hadn't had the five bean chilli for lunch. 18/10/19 12:41:35	2 10
Things would've been even worse with a Sith! --Karyn Harrison
	Rachel didn't mind her new boyfriend's speech impediment, but it was the last time she was going to make him a beetroot and avocado salad. 21/12/15 10:17:48	10

	As hundreds of dignitaries arrive in London, Joe Biden regrets not bringing the presidential Chef. 18/09/22 19:25:06	9

	"Fat camp tough, but works" say Michelin men. 20/07/22 20:10:54	9

	"I'm not sure it was a good idea to try out that Rohypnol on ourselves first Fred". 19/03/21 20:12:03	9

more captions

last comments (total: 158)

I love this: In five words, you explained the scene, AND gave us a glimpse into a relationship.

[anon]

16/06/21
9:26pm

comment on caption:
You spoil that ferret Dave. [Lucky Elperro]

"Hey, look! We're a photo on that caption site." has become a caption for that photo, but some bastard has put it in quotes and capitalized the w... Willie Johnson. What kind of name is that?

Willie Johnson

20/06/21
8:41am

comment on caption:
Hey, look! we're a photo on that caption site. [Lucky Elperro]

That's why you should never mix fishing with clay pigeon shooting

Glyn Evans

12/07/21
7:10pm

comment on caption:
"You broke my heart Fredo" [Lucky Elperro]

Finally, they keep going on about it as if there'll be no tomorrow. It's so exhausting to deal with!

Glyn Evans

10/08/21
8:28pm

comment on caption:
In 2062 climate change was finally under control. [Lucky Elperro]

"Well that's a relief."

Karyn Harrison

22/08/21
11:19am

comment on caption:
"Nope, I'm still constipated". [Lucky Elperro]

They both need to take some Metamucil so they can start moving again.

Willie Johnson

22/08/21
10:48pm

comment on caption:
"Nope, I'm still constipated". [Lucky Elperro]

It helps if you know lamaze.

Willie Johnson

23/08/21
8:27am

comment on caption:
"Are you stuck mate?"

"No, I'm delivering
A F**CKING BRIDGE!" [Lucky Elperro]

Get your facts right. On entering Islamic Heaven every ISIS suicide bomber is entitled to 72 virgins. Let's face it, who would be arsed blowing themselves up for a mere 32 of them?

TERMS & CONDITIONS

This offer is not available to female suicide bombers.

Dave Bryan

31/08/21
7:44am

comment on caption:
Somewhere up in islamic heaven, an ISIS suicide bomber is about to meet the first of his 32 virgins. [Lucky Elperro]

Back off. I reliably get my numbers factchecked by Diane Abbott.

(caption author)

31/08/21
1:02pm

comment on caption:
Somewhere up in islamic heaven, an ISIS suicide bomber is about to meet the first of his 32 virgins. [Lucky Elperro]

72 or 32? What's a suicide bomber going to do with all those virgins?

Is it that 72 is the right number of leftover pieces of him that can be assigned to each virgin as a souvenir after he's detonated himself?

Or does blowing yourself up increase sex appeal, as it can attract 72 virgins every time?

If attraction's got nothing to do with it and the 72 virgins are given to every suicide bomber upon detonation, isn't that technically human trafficking? Would you really want to be involved with that?

Why can't it be 72 sexually adventurous and experienced individuals? Surely, that'd be more fun?

Glyn Evans

31/08/21
1:09pm

comment on caption:
Somewhere up in islamic heaven, an ISIS suicide bomber is about to meet the first of his 32 virgins. [Lucky Elperro]

more comments

more photos

Sending private messages on this site is currently disabled due to abuse by spammers.

best earliest latest latest and best captions

last comments (total: 158)

captions