	This Week				All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	48	3			3343	7954	#34
Photos					1	6	#21
Comments	18				84	175	#43
Suggested Edits	6				4	3	#15

	This Week		All Time
	Voted	Rank	Voted	Rank
Captions			3654	#57
Photos			26	#101
Comments			36	#64
Suggested Edits			9	#8

captions comments received captioned photos

captions


lol x3 creative x2 clever 30/11/22 12:04:55		26 38
Bloody hell. I take a break for a couple of days and when I come back both the November AND December prize winners have been announced ;) --James Lennox

lol 17/08/23 7:12:00		22 33
Many thanks for all your kind comments. Still can't tell which captions are going to get 30+ votes and which will be tumbleweed (which is most of them!) --John Harrison
	lol x2 clever Dave decided there and then that if he ever had another affair, it would be with a woman who lives in a bungalow. 08/01/24 12:12:53, edited: 08/01/24 12:30:47	32


lol 16/02/23 12:00:22		18 29
Great caption John, I bow to your humor and cleverness. And not just because it's prayer time. If this were ever to happen to you, I hope it won't be the kind of person who reads every label several times before making up their mind.... --Willie Johnson
	Henry Wrinklier 08/10/23 7:13:00	28

	lol creative Tiddles was beginning to think he’d need to make his own dinner. 17/01/23 12:00:27	26

	False Alarm 14/08/24 7:07:40	25

	Time to bring on a sub. 29/08/23 11:00:59	25

	lol Road sign creator collapses dead on keyboard. Final work displayed as tribute. 27/01/23 8:02:40	1 25

	When you regret going paperless. 11/06/24 11:25:01	24

	"No, no...you get off to work. We'll be fine." 16/05/24 7:07:51	24

	lol 🎵Climb every fountain..🎵 03/05/24 7:10:42	24

	lol clever x2 “Suella freakin’ Braverman…what’s yours?” 23/05/23 7:00:20	24

	lol x2 When all you can get is an online dentist. 01/10/24 11:02:51	23

	lol "He'll be full of beans in no time." 05/05/24 19:13:15	1 23

	"Well, you grabbed my tit." "I know, but I was trying to tickle your kneecaps." 11/01/24 12:07:48, edited: 11/01/24 12:14:57	23

	lol x2 "...and then later on, we'll get on to some actual motor bikes." 16/12/23 12:02:57	1 23

	“Have you tried switching it off and on again?” 08/03/23 20:00:12	1 23
Can you find the switch? --Willie Johnson
	It was the perfect practical joke...Dave hid his wife's hairbrush where he knew she'd never look. 08/02/23 12:08:53	1 23

	lol x2 creative Thomas The Tank Engine woke up with a throbbing head and a mouth like the inside of a budgies cage. "Can anyone remember where we left Annie and Clarabel last night?" he said. 25/10/22 21:32:00	23

	lol "I think it's a Bigasso." 12/02/24 20:08:22	22

	lol Dave was beginning to regret complaining about Linda making him "the same boring sandwiches" for lunch. 30/03/23 11:36:22	22

	lol clever "No, I'm fine...but have you seen a bloke on water skis?" 11/10/22 20:03:42, edited: 11/10/22 20:45:43	2 22
*seen --James Lennox
	lol x3 creative "For Christ sake Dave, can't we just have regular sex like all the other pigeons?" 12/05/24 7:04:42	1 21
I think Dave's been watching Fifty Shades of Grey. --Karyn Harrison
	clever Well that's Prince Andrew's Christmas present sorted. 08/12/23 20:02:54	1 21

	clever French Nickers 06/11/23 20:08:20	21

	lol x2 Loo Ferrigno 16/05/23 11:00:51	1 21

	clever Ski Sundae 16/01/23 12:00:13	21

	Dave's wife was just relieved she hadn't gone away for the full week. 05/11/22 8:00:42	21

	clever x2 The audition notice for Catwoman should have been clearer. 24/04/24 7:16:06	20

	lol "Who are you waving at?" "That nice lady from social services." 09/04/24 19:02:59, edited: 10/04/24 7:14:06, suggested edits	1 20

	clever There were many things Dave liked about being a vet, but treating a Hippo with haemorrhoids was not one of them. 14/02/24 8:24:41	20

	lol The police advanced driving test was a lot more challenging back in the 60's. 04/02/24 8:58:56	20

	"Any last requests?" 17/01/24 8:24:33	20

	lol Not everyone could carry that outfit off like Dave, let alone at their mother-in-laws funeral wake 22/11/22 20:00:38	20

	lol Party like it's 1889 26/10/22 19:00:34	20

	lol x2 "That reminds me, I still need to get the pigs in blankets." 18/10/24 11:03:42	19

	Take top off and shake. 27/08/24 19:00:33	19

	Supply of photos dries up and site owner forced to delve into personal collection. 26/06/23 11:03:39, edited: 26/06/23 12:45:55	6 19
"photo's" should be "photos"Other than that, caption is 100% accurate. If anyone wants the uncensored version, DM me, I'm open to reasonable offers :-D --Chris Beach
	Nice, but I really need a boot. 14/02/23 12:00:14	19

	clever Ash Test Dummies. 03/06/24 19:05:03	18

	"Very impressive sir, but the sperm bank is across the street." 26/05/24 7:22:15	18

	You know a marriage is doomed when the divorce lawyers are already circling at the ceremony. 11/04/24 7:27:49	18

	lol "If you get your scrotum trapped in your chain mail again, you're on your own." 23/02/24 12:03:45	18

	clever "Ah, I see you bought the Jehovah's Witness Repellant Package." 01/12/23 8:04:02	18

	"Why can't I have a mobility scooter like everybody else?" 13/10/23 7:15:49	18

	Dave was beginning to think it was time to trim his chest hair. 09/09/23 11:01:23	18

	"Now where's that tosser with the Rottweiler?" 06/05/23 11:06:02	18

	“I’m going on strike as well. They’re paying me chicken feed.” 18/04/23 7:00:15	18

	Superman was confident he could tackle one Danny Devito, but not three of the buggers. 03/02/23 20:00:20	18

	"So, are there any downsides to living in Oz, Dave?" 07/10/24 7:10:12, edited: 07/10/24 8:49:52	17

	Gastronaut. 07/06/24 7:25:29	17

	lol Twat. 31/01/24 20:17:12	1 17
Funny thing is, if you look hard enough at this ridiculous outfit, you can actually see the letters T-W-A-T --James Lennox
	Dave's cunning plan to sneak off to the pub was working so far. 13/12/23 20:43:23	17

	lol "Give it three years and she'll look just like me. Just sayin'" 18/10/23 7:03:56	17

	"Can't believe all those folk just ran off and left all this food behind" 16/10/23 11:03:15	1 17

	"There's got to be easier ways of sneaking out for a pint Reg." 05/07/23 19:04:04	17

	lol “Unfortunately, none of the four photographs submitted conform with UK passport criteria. Please retake without the stuffed cat.” 15/02/23 12:01:59, edited: 15/02/23 14:19:57	4 17
The dead parrot sketch is light hearted, is it not? 🤔 --Glyn Evans
	lol creative Rare find for David Attenborough as he stumbles across the nest of a Leather-Arsed Grebe 26/11/22 12:00:34	17

	lol x2 "I thought the hangover was bad enough...and then the toilet seat slammed down." 17/11/22 12:43:12	17

	"Thought you'd appreciate the hard back." 02/09/24 19:05:31	16

	"No bloody Surrey police cars up here!" 19/06/24 7:16:28	1 16

	"I still say it would have been easier to use the battering ram, Sarge." 29/05/24 7:16:00, edited: 29/05/24 7:43:51	16

	Chilling photo of Maria Bolokov, the Russian serial killer who kept a souvenir from every man she murdered. 12/04/24 19:03:04, edited: 12/04/24 19:03:38, suggested edits	7 16
Even more chilling.. Nora Bolokov. --Mark England
	From the new mother-of-the bride range. 14/01/24 20:01:51	16

	"No, carry on...I will get into those sodding leggings." 12/01/24 12:02:33	16

	It's a scam. He pays you £15 an hour to let him sing...but it's £100 to make him stop. 06/12/23 20:03:25	16

	"Unfortunately for Susan, the similarity to a Donkey ended there." 04/12/23 8:12:21	16

	Rupee cushion 09/11/23 12:03:05	16

	"It's not that I'm not enjoying it, but could we go to the swings or something on our second date?" 03/11/23 20:05:39	16

	lol Anyone repulsed by Dave's depiction of Marilyn Monroe really wasn't ready for his Sharon Stone. 08/10/23 13:31:43, edited: 08/10/23 13:34:16	1 16

	Ironically, it was this exact pose that had resulted in her becoming a mummy in the first place. 15/09/23 7:09:39	16

	Bone China 08/09/23 11:01:04	1 16
Except for the teeth. They're porcelain. --Karyn Harrison
	The Repair Shop "not what it was", say TV critics. 25/08/23 11:25:27	16

	Round one. 18/05/23 15:15:35	16

	creative Mystery surrounds fate of missing hairdresser. 17/05/23 7:06:41	16

	“Think that again and I’ll punch you in the face.” 17/12/22 12:00:14	16

	“Do you have everything you need madam, or would you like me to get you a shovel?” 26/11/22 8:41:34	16

	“Not another one Boris!” 21/11/22 20:00:14	16

	clever If you thought getting on the wrong side of The Mafia was bad, try upsetting The Entomology Society. 06/11/22 21:23:44	16

	creative clever Dave liked to have his Cholestrol checked regularly. 17/10/22 9:26:23	16

	Subspecies 24/10/24 7:05:44	15

	It was at this point that Dave started to question his decision to fashion a parachute out of twigs and leaves. 07/09/24 19:02:50	15

	"It's bad news Jim, we've found blood in your drug stream." 25/08/24 19:02:33	15

	Once again, Dave had failed to read the invitation properly. 03/06/24 7:03:37, edited: 03/06/24 20:47:14, suggested edits	6 15
One again, only Dot read the caption properly --Mr Dome
	Cutting your toes off to spite your lace. 28/05/24 19:09:33	1 15

	Manhandle 15/05/24 11:10:51	15

	Puss In Roots 09/05/24 19:25:00	15

	"Not the same as a proper tummy tickle, is it Dave?" 05/11/23 8:04:06	15

	"Bloody hell Dorothy, looks like Tinman has been working out." 02/07/23 19:05:41	15

	Picture clearly faked. No way that ginger kid would be out in the sun. 21/06/23 11:12:31	15

	Dental in plant 25/03/23 20:33:50	15

	"I don't care if you have a flat tyre sir, you can use a jack like everyone else." 21/03/23 8:05:41	15

	Heads or Wales? 08/03/23 12:00:12	15

	It was a difficult job, but being an undertaker wasn’t without perks 02/02/23 8:00:41	15

	"Anything for the weekend sir?" "Yes, a dozen Elastoplast and a prosthetic nose please." 29/01/23 14:35:09	15

	Dealer-shep 21/12/22 8:16:18	15

	Britain’s border control capability explained 07/12/22 20:01:29	15

	lol "This is gonna take for ever. Tight sod could have bought easy-peelers!" 11/11/22 20:59:55	15

	lol clever It was a simple system. If there was a pair left, they'd start dredging the pool. 19/10/22 8:42:15	15

more captions

last comments (total: 204)

A knit-picking error ?

[anon]

15/01/23
8:01pm

comment on caption:
Dave had packed his Taj Mahal jumper by mistake. [John Harrison]

Sorry, missed this one. As did nearly everyone else. Vestry/pantry, very good. Should have got double figures. Most of the other vest jokes were exactly that: pants...

vincent hefter

16/01/23
9:46pm

comment on caption:
The light display in the pantry was less popular. [John Harrison]

Thank you sir.

(caption author)

16/01/23
10:06pm

comment on caption:
The light display in the pantry was less popular. [John Harrison]

Yep, often the more subtle / less obvious captions don't get the recognition they deserve. Early finds help, so kudos to Vivvy wink

James Lennox

16/01/23
10:23pm

comment on caption:
The light display in the pantry was less popular. [John Harrison]

"It was misspelt."

[anon]

[anon]

28/01/23
6:27am

comment on caption:
Road sign creator collapses dead on keyboard. Final work displayed as tribute. [John Harrison]

Perhaps a nod to 12:08:30

[anon]

06/02/23
12:12pm

comment on caption:
When people likened Dave's playing to a cat being strangled, he was always ready to demonstrate the difference. [John Harrison]

I know. I hate it when that happens.

Willie Johnson

07/02/23
8:11pm

comment on caption:
Don't you just hate it when a waiter resigns half way through a shift? [John Harrison]

It's a bit like when a vending machine breaks down in the middle of dispensing

I prefer service technology, you don't need to tip it because it's getting shitty wages. Vending machines also aren't subject to a cost of living crisis either.