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	“Dave I really think you need to trim your nose hair.” 28/08/21 7:09:06	15

	“I knew I should’ve asked Mommy to take me to school.” 09/08/21 7:05:36	1 14
"I'm going to take you to school, son, but not in the same way." --Willie Johnson
	Madonna swears by the holistic approach to diet and fitness. She still looks amazing at 130. 29/05/21 19:00:30	14

	"I thought you said the Emperor was coming?" 28/05/21 7:00:34	1 13
"Things have changed so much since we were employed on the Death Star" --Glyn Evans
	Hump back wail 04/05/21 7:01:14	1 13
â™« My humps, my humps, my lovely hairy lumps â™« --SnapDragon D
	"That's one smart cookie. I had the beef." 03/07/21 7:13:33	12

	"For goodness sake, someone stamp on it." 04/06/21 19:00:43	12

	King of the jumble. 24/07/21 19:23:07	11

	“Tiger.” “No Jimmy, it’s a giraffe.” “Tiger.” “No Jimmy. Say gir-affe.” “No daddy, tiger over there.” 31/08/21 8:10:04	10

	"This thing I found in mommy's draw is not working. It's sticky." 17/06/21 7:06:33	2 10
Too bad those supervotes don't sticky 'round longer. --Willie Johnson
	Wow, it's amazing what you find under your owner's bed. 28/05/21 11:06:48	10

	Phew! I needed that. I lost another life today. 28/03/21 11:09:31	1 10

	“Bill I told you, not at the table. Put your hands where we can see them.” 12/08/21 7:01:59	9

	Announcement “There’s a fat spillage in aisle 10” 07/08/21 19:07:36	9

	“That’s okay, we only came for a swim.” 27/07/21 7:34:30	9

	OMG if I drop her, she's going to swallow me whole. 29/04/21 19:01:23	53 9
Can we keep the discussion friendly please folks.In three days you'll see the author of the above caption and you'll be better placed to judge, based on the caption history of the author.I'm not suggesting this capt... --Chris Beach
	Troompa Loompa ordered a DNA kit to establish which child was his. 01/04/21 7:10:15	5 9
Almost voted for this caption, but felt it was demeaning to Troompa Loompa for needing a DNA kit, when it was so plainly obvious his progeny would have to be the one wearing red, white and blue. --SnapDragon D
	Black-current events 27/08/21 19:35:15	8

	“I deserve this. Been roofing, building, had an alternation with a seagull and do not forget you trying to bake me!” 12/08/21 19:41:22	8

	Jenny has a garage sale once a month. 04/08/21 7:46:04	8

	Elton John still thinks the hardest word is sorry. 02/08/21 19:06:13	1 8
Wow, I never realised Elton John can never apologise. I don't know what he's done but as he's a celebrity I'm absolutely outraged. Now that I know this, I will never listen to any of his songs ever again as it may lead to a decline in my upsta... --Glyn Evans
	“Come on Dolly sit up straight, people are staring.” 29/07/21 11:02:18	8

	"Darling, did you get the dogs in before laying the cement?" 05/06/21 19:06:52	8

	“Okay lovely ladies, which one of you booked the stripper.” 29/08/21 11:10:21	7

	"Darling I know we're saving money, but you didn't need to use the same bath water after Fido." 19/07/21 7:18:01	7

	"Put Agadoo on, or we'll smash your face." 02/07/21 19:04:47	7

	"I've got a message off god. If I transfer all my worldly goods to this bank account I will get eternal life. Wow, god indeed works in mysterious ways." 28/06/21 7:38:40	1 7
God lives in Nigeria? --Willie Johnson
	"Noah, we've not got time for you to go. Just get on the bloody ark!" 02/05/21 19:39:36	7

	Holy smokers 27/04/21 11:01:50	7

	“Sorry about the ear kid. I’ll leave it long at the sides. You’ll never notice.” 24/08/21 12:58:03	2 6
Keep the ear, Vincent. You never know when it will come in handy. --Willie Johnson
	10 signs your kid wants to take over the world. 1. The mite will scale roofs. 2. They still function after losing their twin at 5000 feet. 3. They love to dig up old miners from Bognor Regis. 4. They will intercept snakes to find their rattles. 5. They sing David Bowie songs. 6. They love ‘nappy hour’, with loads of alcohol. 7. They dispose of their parents at tabletop sales. 8. Donald Trump will buy them between a five and ten quid. 9. They can draw better than Picasso. 10. They like a washing cycle and will get dry in an oven. 16/08/21 19:13:36	1 6
….. Plus at least 50 more upcoming, daring, dangerous, escapades of a toddler dicing with death! Yaaay. 😉😂 --Karen Oakenfull
	“Emily, Beth, Ellie, Mia and Jasmine I found you. Your turn now.” 11/08/21 19:12:24	6

	“Ridiculous. Every one knows we only have 9 lives.” 30/07/21 11:02:33	6

	“These were left over from the OAP swingers party last night.” 22/07/21 7:40:33	6

	Joseph's dog has a coat of many colours. 27/06/21 7:05:15	6

	"Can you believe there is a site here where people spend hours and hours thinking up captions to photos." 19/06/21 7:00:20	2 6
Willie, that's a smart way of pretending not to spend hours on comments by breaking it down into minutes --Glyn Evans
	Drive through available. 07/06/21 7:02:23	6

	"We are snot amused." 02/06/21 11:00:32	6

	They told me to do a few lines in their new film. 11/05/21 11:00:15	6

	"Sir, I think someone may have dropped their guard." 29/04/21 11:00:19	6

	One plane took the hens to ibiza and the other returned them 5 days later. 26/04/21 7:15:32	1 6

	“Omg another supermarket trolley. Who’s going down to get the coin?” 31/08/21 19:09:24	5

	Here is Peter. Peter has been fishing. Peter is cooking the fish. Peter likes the smell of fish. 30/08/21 12:13:02	5

	“Are you going pigeon watching again Dave?” 23/08/21 11:06:07	5

	“For goodness sake Jack get your head out of the piñata.” 23/08/21 7:23:29	1 5
His best friend was in the piñata, but he didn't bat an eye.” --Willie Johnson
	"If you eat any more peperami Dave, you'll end up looking like one." 21/08/21 11:01:55	5

	“Is the reception any better Dad?” 08/08/21 7:03:34	5

	“Mom I finally found a game I’m good at.” “That’s great love, but it’s a two player game.” 07/08/21 7:52:15	5

	“For gods sake Dave, I asked you all to grab one important thing from the burning building!” 06/08/21 11:03:35	1 5
"Yes, the baby" --Glyn Evans
	“It’s good stuff, but won’t remove the shit from under your nails.” 02/08/21 7:12:36	5

	"Mommy, is the Vicar supposed to that?" 13/07/21 7:00:09	5

	UPS mail order brides are now delivered straight to your door. 15/06/21 19:05:44	5

	Labour's shadow cabinet enjoying a day out at Blackpool. 20/05/21 11:24:12	5

	Midget Ure 13/04/21 7:26:18	5

	“I’ve zapped your Jedi Knight.” 12/09/21 19:05:44	4

	“Nice ass!” “Shush, my owner will be green with envy.” 08/09/21 19:31:35	4

	Typical Alton Towers experience. Wait in the queue for 3 hours and the ride grinds to a halt for another hour. They paid £65 each for the experience and slept all the way through it. 06/09/21 19:42:45	4

	Vintage DIY curler. One shock and you have a head full of frizz. 02/09/21 7:10:36	4

	“Del boy, it’s only suppose to have 3 wheels!” 26/08/21 19:07:00	4

	“Help! Ive got an arrow stuck up my arse.” 22/08/21 19:22:11	2 4
you are lucky I got the quivers up mine. --John Glover
	“I’m trying to clean the 666 off his forehead.” 15/08/21 17:49:19	2 4
It doesn't come off, I've tried myself. --Glyn Evans
	“Okay son, all I need to know is if Mrs. Smith is in the shower yet.” 09/08/21 7:11:43	4

	Bear grills 05/08/21 11:49:05	4

	“Good, because I couldn’t manage another mile.” 01/08/21 7:00:31	4

	“When I said you better bring home some bacon this is not what I was thinking Dave.” 25/07/21 11:45:57	4

	"Needs must. I'll just pretend I can't read." 18/07/21 19:02:35	4

	“My mum said never pull funny faces. If the wind changes, you’ll stay like that. Elsa your Frozen.” 17/07/21 7:03:05	4

	I'm hiding, come and find me." 07/07/21 7:00:51	4

	Net-felix 16/06/21 7:00:49	4

	"Where shall we go to loose these guys?" "Far far away." "You taking the piss?" 31/05/21 19:10:55	4

	My wife said she'd cut my pride and joy in half if she ever caught me cheating. At the time I was too busy protecting my willy to notice. 30/05/21 7:02:22	4

	"Wow Tom, that furball you coughed up is impressive." 23/05/21 19:07:34	4

	🎵 Stuck in the middle with coo. 21/05/21 8:06:05	4

	"Ok, Velma, Daphne, Fred and Shaggy, one last chance, where have you hid the scooby snacks?" 25/04/21 19:01:08	4

	WARNING! ESCAPED POLAR BEAR. Last seen heading towards the hall of mirrors. 25/04/21 11:00:31	4

	"Our sex life is amazing, but we've not mastered the 69 yet." 18/04/21 11:05:27	1 4
Nice. --Scrijjy Doo
	Vespa-tarians 27/03/21 12:37:19	4

	“These new houses are ridiculous. There’s not enough room to swing a cat.” 01/10/21 11:05:05	3

	“The bride did it. The proof was in the pudding.” 17/09/21 7:10:10	3

	“I was sleepwalking. Honestly officer.” 17/09/21 7:06:49	3

	“Sir, we’ve managed to source the feathers for your pillow.” 06/09/21 7:23:17	3

	“Now the ultimate test soldiers is shopping with the wife.” 27/08/21 7:55:34	1 3
It is an endurance test only the bravest will take on. Let us remember all of those good men and women who could not be resuscitated from their comas as a result of going clothes shopping with the wife" --Glyn Evans
	Robin bastard. 26/08/21 19:03:26	3

	“Did you flush it down the loo?” “Nah it’s to big, I’ve chucked it over the balcony.” 24/08/21 7:23:01	3

	“I think you may be suffering from floaters. My advise is to give up captioning for a while.” 17/08/21 19:30:59	3

	“Here, have it back. It eats and shits more than us.” 06/08/21 7:12:16	3

	“You spoil that bird Dave.” 05/08/21 7:27:29	3

	“Okay prove that I cheated in my medical exam!” 25/07/21 19:06:46	3

	"Stay away you covid infested people, I'm endangered." 15/07/21 19:10:33	3

	Officials are still piecing together the last sightings of the Boeing 737, which were carrying the Jigsaw puzzle convention. 12/07/21 13:17:23	3

	"These humans get on my wick." 10/07/21 19:54:54	3

	Desert Island pics 07/07/21 11:05:15	1 3

	"Look mommy I can hop without holding onto the wall." 07/07/21 7:13:40	3

	Danger: Rotating man and floating hands ahead. 05/07/21 19:01:21	1 3
Breaking dancing and rhythm clapping ahead --Glyn Evans
	"¦"¦called Daddy. 25/06/21 7:00:08	3

	"And the prize for the best belly flop goes to"¦"¦." 21/06/21 7:00:41	3

	"Can you press play love, we've been sitting and watching this for 3 hours." 16/06/21 7:06:13	3

	"Can you stop feeding the pigeons? One has just shit down my top." 08/06/21 7:36:00	3

	Biker groove. 03/06/21 7:00:43	3

	150 miles - "Don't worry we'll be fine." 100 miles - "No need to panic yet." 75 miles - "Please god let me get there." 50 miles - "Please god I'll do anything. Just get me there." 25 miles - "I promise I'll give up sex, alcohol and smoking if I can just get there." 31/05/21 11:36:09	3

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