	All Time
	Quota	Added	Score	Rank
Captions	10	833	1908	#89
Photos
Comments	3	18	28	#84

	All Time
	Voted	Rank
Captions	337	#183
Photos	147	#68
Comments	2	#92

captions comments received captioned photos

captions

	lol "And can we get one of the bride on her own." "Ok..Just let me finish these crisps." 29/11/22 8:08:29	1 25

	"Dad! Can we put the heating on now?" 13/11/22 8:00:56, edited: 13/11/22 8:01:55	10 21
Hey StonefaceI realise that the whole anon thing rubs up people the wrong way sometimes but having a nickname is also technically being anon, unless I'm sorry and that's your real name. Unfortunately you've got to allow ... --Glyn Evans
	The waterjump at this year's Grand National was criticised for being too deep. Here's jockey, Fintan O'Shortpants, giving the thumbs up that he's ok. No news yet, on the horse he's sitting on. 28/10/22 11:08:43, edited: 28/10/22 17:58:34	21

	"How's Dave's job going?" "He's doing well. In fact he's just asked for a bigger celery." 24/04/23 11:07:02	20

	"How do you think Private Fritz will react when we fire him out the cannon?" "I think he'll go ballistic." 16/07/22 7:01:38	20

	lol x2 "Hi dad! Mum's been cooking again." 16/02/22 20:32:37	20

	Text 'No mum, am not getting married..I misunderstood when Darren promised to walk me down the aisle 04/12/22 8:01:23	19

	Jacque Cruise Tow.. 29/10/22 11:07:29	2 17

	clever "Say Arnie! Those nurses are real jokers, they wrote 'Rocky' on my bed chart." "I know, but they can't spell, they wrote 'Terminate' on mine." 18/12/21 12:03:30	17

	clever Another stock photo 27/11/22 8:14:23	16

	"So I took two fish and five loaves and fed five thousand people." "Well I take really cheap end chicken, cover it in this dust crap I call my secret recipe, and sell it to millions of people a day." "Now that is a miracle." 02/12/21 8:02:31	16

	"This pool"s freezing..I can really feel the draught." 27/04/23 19:32:20	15

	"What's he do for a living?" "He's a bouncer." 19/02/22 20:43:31	1 15

	Looks fizzically impossible.. 24/12/21 8:12:30	15

	Unfortunately, later that day, Dave was eaten by a cow. 29/04/22 7:13:49	14

	Mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go Which she later regretted. Especially when she qualified for the winter Olympics. 27/02/22 12:17:10	14

	"Who's on the till tonight?" "Stew." 06/12/21 20:01:37	14

	"I said get a LARGER pool." 27/04/23 19:31:03	13

	It's sad to see how Cupid grew up 30/01/23 12:06:55	13

	Here's the man who invented Mousetrap 03/11/22 8:28:35	13

	"Sorry, you're a bit too macho for me. I was after a camper van." 02/03/22 8:57:19	1 13
When I saw this in an obituary for Dale Winton...'He owned a £5 million home [but] when filming his TV shows, Winton preferred a camper van'...I couldn't help noticing the accidental wordplay. --Glad You Remember
	I shouldn't have put the washing there in hind sight.. 25/01/23 10:29:13	12

	"Look, I look know there's an energy crisis on , and we've all got to keep warm the best we can. But this is taking the piss. Now do you mind frigging off back next door to your own house " 02/12/22 8:17:56, edited: 02/12/22 8:18:32	12

	First class Second class No class 26/11/22 8:03:25	12

	"Oh for fuck's sake Dave! Just take it off, it's only a cold sore." 10/03/22 8:02:19	12

	It was a lovely funeral...strange but lovely. 23/12/21 10:38:54	1 12

	Back then the education system was quite basic... "And this here, children, is what we call a window." 13/12/21 12:01:27	1 12
In those days, you had to pay to attend school. It was none of this lardy dah luxury tax based education you get nowadays. --Glyn Evans
	"Well! That's the last time I wear that jumper at the Muslim swingers club." 08/12/21 8:05:09	12

	"And that's for making such a mess of the bedsheets last night." "Sorry! But you know I only come once a year." 06/12/21 8:05:36	12

	It's one of his kilty pleasures 16/12/22 8:28:50	1 11

	Bradley Waggins 24/11/22 20:09:56	11

	Tea was always fun in Tony Hart's house 16/11/22 12:01:50	11

	I'll baguetting up now.. 24/07/22 7:40:15	11

	It wasn't long before the bubble burst 06/07/22 7:24:21	11

	To be honest the food was pretty bog standard 25/11/22 8:01:04	10

	I took this photo because I wanted to sabre the moment.. 30/10/22 12:16:05	10

	"Did you get any formal training on how to clean the streets, Darth?" "No! They said just pick it up as you go along " 17/03/22 8:06:20	10

	"Sorry to be cruel, but it looks nothing like it!" Said Amy, as they unveiled the statue based on her prize winning drawing. 07/03/22 12:02:12	10

	"Here you go mate! You can park your bike here." 06/01/22 12:09:29	10

	creative "Quick, Shakespeare is announcing who's won the best mobile rave venue." "Now is the winner of our disco tents." 29/12/21 20:06:34	10

	Born with no head...I learnt to talk out of my arse...Here is my story. 19/12/21 20:32:38	10

	More embarrassment for the Tories, as leaked photos show last years Christmas party had a Black Lives Matter theme. 15/12/21 12:07:41	10

	When I said if you want him to stop playing, kick him in the balls. I didn't mean that hard. 08/01/23 12:48:29, edited: 08/01/23 12:48:48	9

	And we're down to the two finalist in this year's ' Touch The Car ' competition 16/12/22 20:31:20	9

	An apple a day keeps the doctor away And just incase there's always a bow and arrow 03/12/22 12:03:31	1 9
No need to keep them away, though - they won't even answer the phone these days. --Molly R
	"ah remember when we got our first home." "Yes, it was a Goodyear that." 24/11/22 8:05:04	9

	Gator Aid 10/09/22 19:21:07	9

	And I chews you... 06/07/22 7:00:26	9

	"Congratulations Mr Smithers. You are this year's World Hide And Seek champion." 31/03/22 19:59:41	9

	"come on guys! We gotta relearn all this doctor shit. Patients are demanding the return of face to face consultations." 19/03/22 8:09:02	9

	"This happens everytime you put the 'Bambi' DVD on." 07/03/22 20:12:57	9

	lol "Hello is that 'Wank Mags R us'. Yea I ordered a bumper deal and was assured, they'd be delivered discreetly, in a package designed not to draw attention." 21/02/22 12:07:58	1 9

	Worst prostitute I ever hired. I got stung for fifty dollars 11/01/22 8:04:09	9

	I think Dave's got a drinking problem.. 20/12/21 20:30:44	9

	'come on Dave wake up! That school bus is not gonna drive itself.' 06/12/22 8:43:14	8

	"How come you split up with the wife, Dave?" "Oh, she gave me too much lip." 16/05/22 7:06:58	8

	Till Darth do us part.. 08/03/22 20:22:13	8

	"This is the second one I've caught this week. They can't resist the smell of hot melted fudge I put in the pot." 17/02/22 8:06:11	8

	clever "Ahh! Remember we used to buy those hats from the origami shop on the pier." "Oh yea. I wonder what ever happened to that?" "It folded." 13/02/22 8:14:36	8

	"Billy I have something to tell you... Your father was a praying mantis." 08/01/22 20:07:40	1 8
"So how come I've never met my father?" "Well, um... he was very good at providing for his family." "I've always felt like I have a little bit of him inside of me." --Willie Johnson
	In the bleak mid winter People made to moan Earth was in pandemic Rules were writ in stone While the hordes had fallen Tory parties flowed In the bleak mid winter Not so long ago.. 09/12/21 8:00:35	2 8
Maybe "hordes" rather than "hoards"? --Molly R
	Dodgy meat in Tesco again. That man's just put a saddle on that lasagne. . 08/12/21 20:10:43	1 8
"They'll try and kick us out. It's a big store, they'll have to Findus first" --Glyn Evans
	My Lidl Pony.. 08/12/21 20:01:10	8

	Souperman 06/12/21 20:32:44	8

	The mother in-law looks well.. 05/12/22 9:45:07	7

	"Well I think Junior's doing well fighting his Crystal meth addiction.He just sits in his room all day." 13/11/22 8:03:23, edited: 13/11/22 9:34:14	1 7

	"What town did you buy them in?" "Bury." 25/09/22 7:25:41	7

	I told you, you'd have a saur head in the morning 10/06/22 7:06:20	7

	lol clever NOT A CAPTION Karyn ...olive branch...love stoneface 07/03/22 20:05:17	6 7
I love it when a caption starts out with "NOT A CAPTION" and gets lots of votes. It's so ironic. By the way, this is not a comment. --Willie Johnson
	This made the bus driver do a ewe turn.. 03/03/22 8:09:15	7

	BANG BANG "Charlie! Are in there pretending you're conducting the Royal Philharmonic again? I've warned you about that behaviour." "No mum. I'm just masturbating. Honest." 14/02/22 8:47:11	7

	Here's my wooden pram, with its wooden wheels. There was only one problem with it. It wooden go. 29/12/21 12:16:23	3 7
Yew wood think her footwear might be part of the problem, wooden shoe? --Willie Johnson
	"Mum!! Grandad's been snorting the Viagra again." 21/12/21 12:00:56	7

	Not the best ventriloquist act I've ever seen. 17/12/21 8:10:20	7

	"I bet five pound it floats!" "Well I bet five pounds it sinks like a stone." Thousands gathered to see Dobbin's trial, after it was accused of being a witch.. 16/12/21 8:05:50	3 7
"This isn't working. Someone fetch a duck." --Crunchy Chords
	"John. Let me introduce you to Jim. He's had a big hand in my success." 13/12/21 8:38:03	7

	Dave would bombard Karen with celery everyday to show his affection. He eventually got done for stalking her.. 24/04/23 12:12:22	6

	Pimp My Strides.. 03/01/23 20:19:23	6

	creative The Flush 01/12/22 8:43:06	6

	"Does that jumper represent Paris and the danger of climate change?" "No! It's the first ever Ku Klux Klan swimathon at Blackpool." 11/09/22 7:12:12, edited: 11/09/22 7:45:26	3 6
Ever notice how the people with their own private jets, luxury yachts and limousines tend to be avid climate change advocates? --Neil Mackenzie
	"Till death do us part...Or the 5.15 to Newcastle." 30/04/22 11:21:03	6

	"Are they Victorian cross dressers?" "I think so. They certainly don't look happy." 08/04/22 7:02:49	6

	"Be careful round here, it's a very rough neighbourhood. Only last week some one stole the river." 25/03/22 8:02:52	2 6
Bank robbers? --Vanessa the Guesser
	Wow! Your house really is open plan.. 19/03/22 12:57:33	6

	"I didn't like the size and shape of our new pool. But after a few gentle strokes it grew on me." 22/02/22 9:34:10	6

	"I'd say I was upper middle class. I've got a degree in mathematics and own a detached house." "I'd say I was middle class. I've got a management job and own a semi-detached house." "I've got me own shovel." 19/02/22 13:01:52	6

	Baloo Movie 02/02/22 8:43:17	6

	Apparently, he was just enjoying an ice cream in the park, when a small child bit him." 25/01/22 8:06:56	6

	"Does anyone have any objections? Speak now or forever hold your tongue." "Err...Just one minor objection from me...Could you get rid of that friggin' bouquet, please." 14/01/22 20:22:46	3 6
He looks like he's about to kick the bouquet... --James Lennox
	"Ok nearly ready for the zoom meeting. Oh watch you don't sit on my dildo, I left it on the bed and it goes full throttle when touched." 07/01/22 20:06:23	6

	"How sick is she, To be lying in that airport waiting thingy?" "Terminal." "Jeezus, the poor girl." 23/12/21 8:51:39	6

	In the town of Salem, police have finally figured out, why so many girls had turned to Satan worship.. 08/12/21 8:01:56	1 6
Yep, it's true. Satan does work in mysterious ways. --Glyn Evans
	Pa boiled.. 06/12/21 21:10:19	6

	"I must go and sort my sack out now." "Sorry Santa! I didn't mean to hit it so hard." 06/12/21 8:03:40	6

	"Hello! Mr Satan, sir...Can we have a quick word with Mrs Thatcher, please ." 26/04/23 7:02:50	5

	BREAKING NEWS... A volcanic hole has appeared near Downing Street. The government said they are looking into it. 26/04/23 7:00:17, edited: 26/04/23 7:00:46	2 5

	"Ha ha ha...Am laughing cos you paid for a ticket and am getting a free ride." "Ha ha ha...Am not laughing at you getting a free ride and me paying for a ticket. Am laughing because I know a tunnel is coming up." 14/11/22 8:02:29, edited: 14/11/22 8:03:33	5

	Pant Jennings 11/11/22 12:03:40	5

	Here's a photo of Uncle Bob In the army... He's a kernel 23/09/22 19:44:53	5

	When did he die? Chewsday 14/09/22 11:04:16	5

more captions

last comments (total: 64)

He looks like he's about to kick the bouquet...

James Lennox

16/01/22
9:33pm

comment on caption:
"Does anyone have any objections? Speak now or forever hold your tongue."

"Err...Just one minor objection from me...Could you get rid of that friggin' bouquet, please." [stoneface1]

Offensive? Who doesn't enjoy a tramp's arsehole?

Oh, shit. I shouldn't talk about the rich and famous like that. It is where the phrase rich for the picking comes from after all, but shush! It's a secret. Have some pride, dignity and respectability. It's what abusers love best.

It's the best way to recruit the abused. Take something away and then repackage it and then offer it up on a big juicy plate for your consumption. It's usually called what is it? It has this technical term. I can't seem to think of the word. Is it a "hook"?

Glyn Evans

16/02/22
2:28pm

comment on caption:
WARNING: The following caption includes a graphic description some readers might find funny, I mean offensive -

Never ever buy the squeezy Marmite.
After just one go the top looks like a tramps arsehole.

[stoneface1]

...wish I thought of that! Nice one. (Anonymous, this time, is among those who have given you a thumbs up.)

[anon]

20/02/22
5:10pm

comment on caption:
"What's he do for a living?"

"He's a bouncer." [stoneface1]

Why?

Chuggers and friggers should have pride in what they do.

Everyone should know and be aware. It's only natural.

Glyn Evans

22/02/22
8:17am

comment on caption:
"Hello is that 'Wank Mags R us'. Yea I ordered a bumper deal and was assured, they'd be delivered discreetly, in a package designed not to draw attention." [stoneface1]

You want to be careful with that, someone might take it literally and believe it...

...the last thing you want is a fox hunting brigade on your golf course.

Glyn Evans

02/03/22
8:58am

comment on caption:
An hour later old Mr Jones got his first ever hole in one. As his fellow players clapped, he picked his ball out the hole and gave it a huge kiss...They say the smell of fox shit can stop you in your tracks. it certainly did that day. The end.

That was a true story and I should know, I was there when I made it up.. [stoneface1]

When I saw this in an obituary for Dale Winton...

'He owned a £5 million home [but] when filming his TV shows, Winton preferred a camper van'

...I couldn't help noticing the accidental wordplay.

Glad You Remember