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The Wolf Vote score: 21910The Wolf

8am - "Dad, I'm going out on a date tonight at 7pm with a guy who is ten years older than me, is in a band, is on the dole and is covered in tattoos including one on his stomach pointing to his genitals saying (get it 'ere)."

7pm.....

04/03/24 12:37:26

Why didn't my daughter ever bring hot blokes like that home? --Karen McDonald
Claire C Vote score: 162Claire C

Magic Beans

07/01/24 20:14:07

C CaMel Vote score: 17787C CaMel

Now in stock.

30/12/23 9:03:08, suggested edits

Brian Butterfield Vote score: 1425Brian Butterfield

Coming Soon

20/10/23 20:00:58

Phil Swan Vote score: 5729Phil Swan

The Post Code Lottery found a new way to tell entrants they hadn't won

26/09/23 8:10:31

Karen McDonald Vote score: 5614Karen McDonald

🎵 Surfin' USB 🎵

04/09/23 12:06:28

Bravo! 😆 --Julia Kinsey
Neil Mackenzie Vote score: 15713Neil Mackenzie

You took a fine time to leave me Loose Wheel.

21/08/23 22:28:45

Just Googled the lyrics to 'Not Fade Away' as I could never understand what Mick Jagger was saying here. I much prefer "I'll dry your shoulders if you'll dry my back" to the actual lyric. Maybe you should've been a songwriter Molly. 😂 I sometimes  --Karyn Harrison
Boycie Vote score: 7002Boycie

Wait lifting

14/08/23 13:20:25

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 23888Vanessa the Guesser

Luckily, there was a Constable nearby.

12/08/23 12:22:25

Stephen Bean Vote score: 47571Stephen Bean

Purple Reign

03/08/23 20:00:25

Ian Skelding Vote score: 34413Ian Skelding

Ignightingale

12/05/23 20:11:27

Dave Bryan Vote score: 36976Dave Bryan

When Tom saw what was happening on the other side of the lake he decided to take a gander.

15/04/23 8:25:17, edited: 15/04/23 8:26:48

Curiosity chilled the cat. --KimJong Pun
Peter Houle Vote score: 1018Peter Houle

Grolsch negligence

31/01/23 20:46:09

ヽ༼◥▶ل͜◀◤༽ノ --Scrijjy Doo
Dave Bryan Vote score: 36976Dave Bryan

''Waiter, will the pizza be long?''

''Yes.''

04/01/23 20:00:14, edited: 04/01/23 20:00:38

Vivvy En Vote score: 15583Vivvy En

"I do hope Dave and Sandra are okay at the kennels."

29/09/22 8:27:36

Steve McLean Vote score: 40Steve McLean

This tree walks into a bar...

13/09/22 14:02:12

.... and was almost trunkated. --John Glover
Tony S Vote score: 11459Tony S

£25

  When youve got to go, youve got to go.

16/06/22 8:07:13

Squeezed out of first place and not quite stinking rich. Well done all the same, Tony!  --Al Overy
C CaMel Vote score: 17787C CaMel

£50

  “In all my years as a gynaecologist…”

04/11/21 8:08:24

C CaMel has very kindly donated his November cash prize back to caption.me and suggested we run a Christmas bonus prize for the 2021 “one that got away.”So, please  --Chris Beach
Vivvy En Vote score: 15583Vivvy En

"Oh, that's better. I kneaded that."

03/07/21 20:36:21

I love your captions, Vivvy. Lol. :) --Al Overy
Al Overy Vote score: 20699Al Overy

£50

BREAKING - Sniffer dog retires after largest ever cocaine find.  He left on a high, said his handler.

10/10/20 12:00:14

Thanks again everyone.  --Al Overy
Stephen Bean Vote score: 47571Stephen Bean
Lard of the Rungs

21/04/20 12:00:17

Karen Oakenfull Vote score: 3945Karen Oakenfull

As a funeral director, I should never have agreed to the, ‘Take Your Kids To Work Day' initiative.

30/03/20 13:59:43

Guideaux . Vote score: 2398Guideaux .

Made in China

22/03/20 12:31:59

Read an article the other day about the Spanish flu epidemic and it was saying that although Britain, France and Germany all had this flu before Spain, it got called Spanish flu because it appeared in the uncensored Spanish press whilst the other ... --Glyn Evans
Troompa Loompa Vote score: 23502Troompa Loompa

£25

  The Queen throws a leaving party for Harry and Meghan.

20/03/20 20:03:08

Thanks for all the kind words folks.Stay safe and happy captioning. --Troompa Loompa
Michelle Purrington Vote score: 32Michelle Purrington

£50

I dont mind this beer but I'm normally Intastellar

21/08/19 12:03:00

Has anyone else ever won the monthly prize with their first ever caption on Caption.me? Out of this world effort Michelle, well done. --James Lennox
Kenny Ireland Vote score: 6310Kenny Ireland

RIPtide.

04/08/19 10:54:15

James Lennox Vote score: 21994James Lennox

"Luke, I am your farmer."

23/03/19 8:46:34

Haha. I don't mind chipping in a tenner for second place (it definitely will not be one of mine)!! Great caption. Genuinely choked on my toast. So thanks for nearly killing me!  --The Wolf
James Lennox Vote score: 21994James Lennox

£50

Wash his hands hopefully.

22/01/19 8:22:17

Thanks Dave and everyone else. Chuffed to be on the board and loving the spirit of Caption.me. Will continue to represent the hobbits down here in NZ. Cheers all. --James Lennox
Tony Edwards Vote score: 41410Tony Edwards

£50

"Has anyone handed in a left ear?"

08/08/18 12:26:52

"Nah, no one's left one 'ere." --John Glover
stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

"It was quite a comfortable ride. Once I got used to sitting on my nan's face."

03/08/18 8:13:01

Thanks Karen-If only you would have voted for it ,then I would have won the fifty quid and I wouldn't have had to sell one of the kids to make ends meet. But don't blame yourself Karen am sure you never meant to be so selfish. Once again thanks. --stone face
Ian Skelding Vote score: 34413Ian Skelding

Animal writes

31/05/18 20:00:17

Michael Winner Vote score: 25610Michael Winner

Caution: Chinese Dragon costume thieves operate in this area.

01/05/18 20:16:15

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38815Welsh Rarebit

£50

"When I asked you to give me a quote for the damage...?"

08/04/18 8:36:55

Thanks everyone for your comments and votes :-) --Welsh Rarebit
Mark England Vote score: 23385Mark England

Carol wished a double decker would come...and a Mars Bar, a Twix, a Bounty and a box of Terry's All Gold.

30/07/13 12:21:55

July's caption of the month, posted to the official caption.me Facebook page. Congrats! --Chris Beach
Tony Edwards Vote score: 41410Tony Edwards

"Get a tomb!"

13/06/13 20:17:39

Cath Jones Vote score: 38815Cath Jones

Wet knee Houston.

31/03/13 8:02:14

Houston, wee have a problem. --Pete
Tosser Wivlov Vote score: 6766Tosser Wivlov

They met each other on the web.

15/01/13 20:42:18

Roley Martin Vote score: 1863Roley Martin

8 out of 10 cats prefer Whiskies.

28/10/11 21:02:18

Hercules  Rockefeller Vote score: 15296Hercules Rockefeller

The Wizard of Lbs

28/06/14 20:01:15

Took me a while, I think it was the capital L. I think best caption of the week. --Ian Skelding
Smuldo Vote score: 11761Smuldo

The ArmStrong of the Law.

27/08/13 12:57:39

That word play was a double back flip with a full twist. Nicely done! --Greg Curtis
Cath Jones Vote score: 38815Cath Jones

Barbara has a highly infectious laugh.

03/05/13 20:07:31

Dan Dan Vote score: 5606Dan Dan

After watching their team lose again, the crowd turned ugly.

07/02/13 12:08:07

or else they're just Man U fans --Tosser Wivlov
Pete  Vote score: 18533Pete

£100

Norman could only afford the basic package from Dignitas.

14/09/12 9:00:35

I've not seen this caption before, as I've not been a member that long. I've not laughed so much in a long time. There are captions, funny captions and, rarely, truly sidesplitting captions like this. Quintessentially fabulous. --Tommy FlashBangWallop
Mr. Toad Vote score: 2088Mr. Toad

The only gay in the pillage.

30/06/12 20:17:18

Ian Skelding Vote score: 34413Ian Skelding

Beach coma

03/10/11 11:00:16

Jo Vote score: 3195Jo

Dancing is really hard on the calves

02/02/25 8:05:06

Mark England Vote score: 23385Mark England

"I bought all of this for 5 bucks"

25/01/25 12:07:50

Tony S Vote score: 11459Tony S

"We may need some more handcuffs."

29/12/24 12:07:19

Dave Bryan Vote score: 36976Dave Bryan

£50

"We can rescue the
women and kids later."

20/09/24 8:01:56, edited: 01/10/24 18:27:52

Well done Dave for another great caption - you ran away with it last month. Did you go back for the family? --Mr Dome
James Lennox Vote score: 21994James Lennox

"I don't like this bit. Skip to the end where I win."

02/09/24 20:01:09

I wouldn't say deep thought on my part, more of an off shoot or tangent inspired by your caption. I do like the way you put it.I also like when there's ideas like this that there's potential to play around with. I wouldn't wan --Glyn Evans
Scrijjy Doo Vote score: 15422Scrijjy Doo

Okay. You're cleared for women's boxing.

25/08/24 20:04:54

Put the Stella's away glyn --NotAsFunnyAsYourMum
Dan Nicholls Vote score: 19915Dan Nicholls

No species is immune to Lego on the floor.

19/08/24 20:14:59

Karen McDonald Vote score: 5614Karen McDonald

Old El Buspasso.

08/07/24 20:05:02

Al Overy Vote score: 20699Al Overy

Wurst. Birthday. Ever.

30/05/24 20:00:30

Truly Offal  --Glyn Evans
Al Overy Vote score: 20699Al Overy

Despite the doctor's efforts, he left hospital in a box.

31/03/24 20:09:49

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 23888Vanessa the Guesser

Better than showing off her Wotsits.

10/03/24 20:31:31

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 23888Vanessa the Guesser

"We always take a few magazines to bed."

16/02/24 8:02:26

None of the magazines are Loaded but there a couple of Nuts and Maxims somewhere --Mr Dome
Ian Skelding Vote score: 34413Ian Skelding

Jane liked a bowl of surreal in the morning.

08/02/24 8:02:15

Tony S Vote score: 11459Tony S

"What's the delay to kick off ?"
"We are playing the centipedes and it takes them forever to get their boots on."

17/01/24 20:04:00

Al Overy Vote score: 20699Al Overy

There once was a man called Bob Goode
Who taught Shaolin skills in the wood
Bob slipped while he tutored
And sadly got neutered
His nuts landing where he once stood

15/01/24 8:20:55, edited: 15/01/24 8:49:17

Oh your efforts deserve praise indeed!! 😂 --Julia Kinsey
Vivvy En Vote score: 15583Vivvy En

"You think you've got problems," said the potatoes. "They gouged our eyes out!"

12/01/24 12:18:23

Stephen Bean Vote score: 47571Stephen Bean

Gwyneth Poultry

12/01/24 8:15:24

Al Overy Vote score: 20699Al Overy

"Doctor, Doctor I have shooting pains in my stomach!"

"That'll teach you to go for an Indian."

09/01/24 12:02:41

Charles Gilbert Vote score: 1457Charles Gilbert

Incontinental Airlines.

06/01/24 20:07:58

Stephen Bean Vote score: 47571Stephen Bean

Crocodile D'undie.

02/01/24 20:04:08, edited: 02/01/24 20:10:54, suggested edits

Thank you so much for the suggestion Kathleen. You really improved it!  --Stephen Bean
Julia Kinsey Vote score: 2549Julia Kinsey

It was done with cutting hedge technology

02/01/24 8:57:05

Phil Swan Vote score: 5729Phil Swan

“I think my waters have broken “ said Mrs Gulliver

01/11/23 8:07:39

Tony Edwards Vote score: 41410Tony Edwards

The quick brown dog jumps over the lazy cow

21/10/23 10:18:42

John Harrison Vote score: 8625John Harrison

Tiddles was beginning to think he’d need to make his own dinner.

17/01/23 12:00:27

James Lennox Vote score: 21994James Lennox

*Ding*
"Whiskas!"
"No, I'm sorry, Tibbles, the correct answer was Pope Benedict the sixteenth."

13/01/23 12:10:08, edited: 13/01/23 12:31:58

I agree with KT A. This is a killer. --Dave Bryan
Stephen Bean Vote score: 47571Stephen Bean

Life's a bitch and then you DIY

11/09/22 12:03:29

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 23888Vanessa the Guesser

£50

  Later on they fell out.

08/08/20 8:05:57

Thanks everybody! I really appreciate all the support and the lovely uplifting comments. :) --Vanessa the Guesser
Stephen Bean Vote score: 47571Stephen Bean
  Dave was the last to notice Medusa had taken up hang gliding.

08/07/20 12:00:09

Dave Bryan Vote score: 36976Dave Bryan

''Hello, Derbyshire police, it's Tom here. I've just seen a couple walking their dog.''

31/03/20 8:04:05

Mark Wilson Vote score: 5197Mark Wilson

All these animals on Noahs Ark and I'm the only one who feels seasick

12/02/20 20:11:57

Sorry Mark, missed voting by an inch. Great observational caption. --James Lennox
Leroy Brown Vote score: 8188Leroy Brown

Driving Miss Daisy

04/08/18 23:47:17

Welsh Rarebit Vote score: 38815Welsh Rarebit

Altar Ego

26/07/18 13:51:38

Here's another one JG - caption.me/57912 :) --Pete
stone face Vote score: 10117stone face

£50

Gary was confident of his chances in this years novelty hat competition.

07/03/18 8:33:00

Hat off to you, stone face, great caption. --Pete
William Kay Vote score: 1105William Kay

It was definitely a no fly zone.

20/01/17 12:40:19

Tony Edwards Vote score: 41410Tony Edwards

The proof is in the pudding.

29/03/16 22:03:44

After proofreading your caption, I find it perfect. --Pete
Lucky Elperro Vote score: 6321Lucky Elperro

I may have Parkinsons, but I can eat my own ice cream thank you very much.

07/09/15 12:18:26

Kenny Ireland Vote score: 6310Kenny Ireland

Bureaucat.

15/06/15 20:18:24

Michael Winner Vote score: 25610Michael Winner

It was several weeks before his landlady realised he'd left without paying.

29/12/14 20:12:10

The following is not a joke; it's a compliment: If you show this image to a thousand people, 950 would just scratch their heads, 49 would make SOME sense out of it...and one, maybe just ONE would be funny. Congratulations! Nice caption, which is ... --Greg Curtis
oblong cassidy Vote score: 666oblong cassidy

£50

"Hello Mr Jones.. Psychic Barbers here..Just cancelling your appointment for next thursday as you'll be dead ..Cheers"

24/02/25 12:03:07, edited: 24/02/25 12:45:28, suggested edits

Great caption, congratulations Oblong! There's nothing square about your captions. --Stephen Bean
John Harrison Vote score: 8625John Harrison

"You think you're here to judge a talent show. But do you remember a drunken night in Cardiff in 2022?

23/02/25 20:11:56

Kinder Surprise? --Karyn Harrison
Mark England Vote score: 23385Mark England

Night Wear on Elm Street

21/02/25 12:05:37

Mr Dome  Vote score: 19260Mr Dome

They look beautiful until all the pedals fall off

21/01/25 8:12:59

David Vote score: 78David

Kentucky Bride Chicken

05/01/25 8:25:57

Ian Searle Vote score: 3108Ian Searle

When you are on the plain, and the person next to you falls asleep.

02/01/25 8:26:14, edited: 02/01/25 11:42:52, suggested edits

When you are on the plain, and the passenger necks to you falls asleep. --Neil Mackenzie
Tony S Vote score: 11459Tony S

Masterchef refuse to address the elephant in the room.

05/12/24 12:11:23

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 23888Vanessa the Guesser

Man flue

11/10/24 8:01:04

Vanessa  the Guesser Vote score: 23888Vanessa the Guesser

£50

"What's the frequency?"

"Well, at least once a day."

28/09/24 12:06:53

Vanessa kindly made a large deposit into the 2024 Dave Awards fund! Much appreciated, Vanessa! --Chris Beach
John Harrison Vote score: 8625John Harrison

False Alarm

14/08/24 8:07:40

Karen McDonald Vote score: 5614Karen McDonald

£50

‎

Longleat safari park staff
unhappy with new uniform.

27/05/24 12:35:44, edited: 19/06/24 17:41:54

Karen. Congratulations on creating a caption that meats everyone's approval. --Troompa Loompa
Mr Dome  Vote score: 19260Mr Dome

A blast from the passed

11/04/24 20:09:15

Stephen Bean Vote score: 47571Stephen Bean

Weapon of bass destruction

02/04/24 8:03:31

Karen McDonald Vote score: 5614Karen McDonald

Statue of Liberties.

18/02/24 8:01:11

James Lennox Vote score: 21994James Lennox

"Bloody typical," muttered Dave. "I just paid £25 for mine."

20/01/24 12:10:18

Stephen Bean Vote score: 47571Stephen Bean

The wiener rakes it all

10/01/24 12:09:59, suggested edits

Stephen Bean Vote score: 47571Stephen Bean

Bone dry

07/01/24 8:00:12

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